Part
12
Afterwards,
in the Ancient Mariner ...
Michael:
See, it's still open, and not too crowded, good, good. Let's take
a table over at the window, from there you have a great view over
the Milky Way.
Uriel: I'm thirsty ... and hungry too, come to
think of it. Let's have a look at the menu.
Raphael: Fuck, have you seen that? They have a
huge choice! Over 30 different dishes!
Uriel: Yeah, a pity one can't try them all. But
that's a reason to be back, I guess.
Raphael: That's gonna be a tough choice.
Lucifer: Raph! You're not gonna start again, are
you? Just take the first one and be done with it!
Raphael: You think I should? Hmmm, let's see: ...
squid.
Sariel: Waiter, can we order some drinks, please?
Ok, guys, what do you want? I'll have a pint.
Michael: Yep, me too.
Uriel: A pint it is.
Gabriel: Ehh, no I think I'll stick with mineral
water for the moment. I've already lost so much blood, and alcohol's
supposed to dehydrate even more. Besides, my vocal chords are a
bit scratchy.
Lucifer: Ts, you and your vocal chords. I'll have
a pint too. There's nothing better than tap beer, in my opinion.
Sariel: Raph?
Raphael: Huh? I'm still reading the menu. I don't
like squid, so I have to ...
Sariel: What do you drink?
Raphael: Oh, eh, well ....
Lucifer: He's having a beer too.
Waiter: So that's 3 mineral beer and a tap water.
Lucifer: No! It's 5 tap beer and one mineral water.
Don't you listen?
Gabriel: Aha, a dumb waiter. That's probably why
he has that latch on his forehead. It goes up, it goes down and
sometimes you even get what you ordered. Hehe.
Uriel: Don't be too harsh on him, guys. He's been
lobotomized. That's what happens to renegade angels when they get
caught.
Sariel: Nonsense, that's only an urban legend.
Uriel: No, it's not. The Ancient Mariner recruits
these guys to reintegrate them back into angelic society. That's
a very charitable move, I think.
Sariel: Rubbish. I've never known a single renegade
angel who's been lobotomized.
Uriel: Well, you're looking at one right here.
See his forehead: he's been lobotomized. No more brain. Poor guy.
Gabriel: Great. Something to look forward to in
case our revolution fails. Talk about a promotion: from messenger
to dumb waiter.
Lucifer: Yes, but we WON'T fail. Don't be so negative,
Gabe.
Uriel: Ah, here's the liquid. Ok, now for the food:
I'll have a Trout Mariner style.
Sariel: I'll take the same, they are really quite
good.
Michael: For me it's the good ole Fish'N Chips
Deluxe. Double portion with an extra serving of Sea Creature's Delight.
Yummy.
Lucifer: I think I'll go for the salmon.
Gabriel: I'll take the prawn salad with seaweed
supreme. Make that extra-hot, por favor.
Lucifer: Raph? What do you want?
Raphael: Ehh, order yours first, I haven't decided
yet.
Lucifer: We HAVE already ordered. Come on, make
up your mind, or I'll decide for you. And that means squid, so you
better be fast.
Raphael: Nooo, wait! I've already reduced it to
four options. Can't you give me another minute?
Lucifer: Raph! We're hungry. Just take one of your
options. The first for example.
Raphael: Halibut? Well, problem is, I think I prefer
the trout ...
Lucifer: Then take the trout. Am I in a kindergarten
here? Waiter: he's taking the trout.
Waiter: One trout ...
Raphael: Actually, trout was choice number 3. But
there's Trout Mariner style and Trout Hermit style. I think I have
to specify which one I want.
Lucifer: Fuck, Raph, we don't have the whole night.
I want this waiter gone from our table, he's puking like he's just
arisen from the grave.
Michael: Take the Mariner style, Raph. Ury and
Sariel have that too, and it's really very tasty.
Raphael: It is? Ok, I'll take that then.
Gabriel: Yeah, that way they can call it the Trout
"Tres Amigos style" from now on, as you all seem so very
fond of it.
One hour later
...
Michael:
'kin great meal.
Uriel: Yeah, the food was excellent. Not to mention
the beer.
Gabriel: Ahh, this has revived my spirits ... talking
of spirits: how about a wee cocktail to round off the evening?
Uriel: Super idea, mate. Let's have a lookie at
the board.
Raphael: Oh no! Another huge choice. Today is really
not my day.
Gabriel: Interesting names they have, though. Look
at this one: Siren's Call. Sounds intriguing, I think I'll go for
that.
Michael: I had that one last time. It has pineapple
and coconut in it. A bit too sweet for my taste.
Gabriel: Sweet is good. I'll try it.
Lucifer: Life-in-Death. That sounds poisonous.
I think I'll have a go at it.
Sariel: I'll have The Ghost of the Navigator. That
one's a killer. One sip, and you feel like on your final journey.
Michael: Right you are, mate. I'll have that too.
Uriel: I wonder if they have any whiskeys? I'd
like one.
Michael: They have Davy Jones. A smooth malt from
the northern clouds. Very recommendable.
Uriel: Great. A Davy Jones for me then. On the
rocks.
Lucifer: Raph?
Raphael: Ehmmm ... I'll take an Albatross.
Lucifer: Great. See, you can decide quickly if
you put your mind to it.
Raphael: Well, to be honest, I felt so much pressure
that I simply took the first from the list. I hope it's good.
Gabriel: Albatross? Hmm, sounds fishy to me.
Raphael: Really?
Gabriel: Never mind, just kidding.
Raphael: Hm.
Gabriel: Aww, poor Raphy. Come 'ere. You look like
you'd much rather snuggle up in your cozy cloud right now. Instead
you have to spend the evening taking hard decisions. Ah well, don't
we all have to make sacrifices for the great cause.
Raphael: I'm so tired. I'm even too tired to tell
you to stop tousling me.
Michael: Luckily Sar and I have the afternoon shift
tomorrow. That way, we still get some sleep before work.
Uriel: Anybody care for a Holy Smoke to go with
the cocktails?
Sariel: Yeah, thanks, mate.
Michael: Thanks.
Gabriel: Thanks, but no thanks. Smoke, be it holy
or profane, is bad for the vocal chords.
Lucifer: For once I'll agree with Gabe. You know,
these cigs are no joke, they're really bad for your health.
Uriel: Raph? You want one?
Raphael: Huh? Sorry, I must have drifted off. What
did you say?
Uriel: You want a cig?
Raphael: Ehmm, no. I think I gonna go now. But
thanks anyway.
Michael: What about your Albatross?
Raphael: What albatross?
Gabriel: Your fishy cocktail, remember, Raphy?
You ordered a cocktail. See, here it comes. Hmm, looks like the
sea has been rough for our waiter.
Raphael: Oh, that. Yeah, I'll drink that quickly.
Lucifer: Don't you want to sit down at least?
Uriel: Raph can be a fast drinker if he has to.
In the Angel and the Gambler, we had a drinking contest with Sariel.
Raph downed his pint in less than 10 seconds.
Raphael: Hmm, actually it was only 7 seconds.
Gabriel: A pint in 7 seconds? Wow, I'd probably
be dead after such a feat.
Sariel: Yes, but don't drink too fast tonight,
Raph. You still have a long way to fly to Acacia Heavenview.
Uriel: Too late. There goes the good spirit. He's
gulped it all down.
Raphael: Actually, it really tasted a bit fishy.
Michael: No wonder. That dumb waiter dumped a mussle
in it and you just swallowed it whole.
Raphael: Hm. Anyway, I think I'll go now.
Gabriel: Aww, come on, Raphy. I'll bring you home.
Wouldn't want you to fall asleep in your flight.
Lucifer: I thought Acacia Heavenview was such a
huge detour for you, Gabe?
Gabriel: Yeah, well. Can't leave little Raphy fly
home all alone, can I? He might get lost among the clouds. Or something
bad might happen to him. After all, his cloud is way up there. Who
knows, his wings might even catch fire if he doesn't take care.
Wouldn't want that to happen, right? Ok, see ya, guys. Come on,
Raphy, say good night.
Raphael: Good night.
Uriel: Good night, mate. I'll pass by your cloud
tomorrow. Night, Gabe. … So, shall we four have another drink?
Sariel: Yeah, why not.
Lucifer: Fuck. We better leave. Now.
Michael: Why? What's the matter?
Lucifer: See that girl that just came in? I think
she's that crazy reporter from the Sun and Steel.
Sariel: Yeah, that's her. I often see her in the
Angel and Gambler. She's actually quite cute.
Lucifer: Well, I don't care about cute. I'd prefer
her not to see us here together. I don't want us to make front page
tomorrow, The Four Amigos or some such stupid headline. I'm off.
I'll let you know about our next meeting.
Michael: Maybe you're right. Better call it a day.
Sariel, you're coming?
Sariel: Yeah, I'm coming. See ya, Ury.
Uriel: Well, I guess all good things come to an
end. See you all, guys. I'll have a wee drop for the road before
I leave.