Part 30: And the Wolves They Howled Into the Night

Janick: We have arrived, it seems. What's the mission this time?
Bruce: Ehm, I have the paper here, wait: "Bring back a historical stake."
Dave: A steak?
Nicko: Well, I'm a bit hungry, so there's a chance the steak won't survive the trip back home, hehe.
Dave: You would eat a historic steak? Yuk.
Nicko: Oh, come on, you have eaten stuff on our missions before. Not to mention the drinks.
Dave: True.
Bruce: Actually, they meant "stake", not "steak".
Dave:
Adrian: Hmm, ok, we need to find a fence or something. But why would a stake be historical?
Bruce: No idea, but we're about to find out, probably. Let's go.
Steve: It's pretty dark outside. I don't see much.
Bruce: I keep telling you, Steve, you need glasses.
Steve: Huh? I don't need glasses, my eyes are fine.
Bruce: You're squinting ...
Steve: Yes, it's dark, so I'm squinting to see better.
Janick: There's a horse-drawn carriage approaching. Maybe the driver can point us the way to a village.
Adrian: You know, this whole situation reminds me of something ...
Dave: I think it's creepy here.
Bruce: The carriage is stopping. I'll pop in a pill and ask.
Steve: Be careful, Bruce.
Bruce: Yeah, yeah, don't worry. What harm is there in asking the way? Hello, ho, you there! We're looking for a nearby village, where we can turn in for the night.
Coachman: There's one not far away.
Bruce: Would you mind bringing us there?
Adrian: I have a bad feeling getting into that coach. I have déjà-vu.
Coachman: Sure. Get in.
Bruce: Come on, H, he seems friendly.
Adrian: You think so? I think he looks dangerous. Like a thug or something. The raspy voice, the muffled face.
Bruce: It's cold here, that's why he is all wrapped up.
Steve: Ok, let's get in. We need to get to some sort of civilization if we want to find stakes.
Nicko: And I'm hungry, so we better look for a tavern.
Dave: I wonder why it is so dark. Usually we do our missions by daylight.
Adrian: This all reminds me of something. I wish I knew what it was.
Janick: You have been here before?
Adrian: No, I don't think so, but I have the uncanny feeling that I know this situation. The scenery. The dark forest, the hills ...
Bruce: See over there? We're approaching a village. Back to safety, back to civilisation. No need to worry.
Coachman: Get out here.
Nicko: He isn't too friendly, methinks.
Steve: Never mind that bloke, let's get out and find that stake.
Nicko: Pretty picturesque village. Nice footage.
Steve: Can you even film in this darkness?
Nicko: I have nightview on my camera, no worries.
Janick: Maybe we should first find out where we are?
Coachman: Maybe you shouldn't. Ho!
Steve: Hey, wait, there's still people in the coach! Damn. Where the hell is he driving now? Bruce, Dave, H ... And once again we have split up, I hate that. Why didn't they get out while the coach stood still? We have to find them.
Janick: Strangely enough, this situation also reminds me of something now.
Nicko: We can ask in the village what the next stop for the coach is. Then we'll find them. No need to worry now. It looks like a harmless enough hamlet.
...
Bruce: Ouch! Hey, Dave, can you please get off my lap?
Dave: Sorry, I fell when the coach started moving again.
Bruce: That guy drives as if the devil was behind him. Hey, coachman, we're still in here! Can you hear me?
Dave: The rattling is too loud.
Adrian: Oh damn, I think I know what this reminds me of!
Bruce: You think maybe we should try and jump out?
Dave: Better not, might be dangerous. And we're in a forest, we might get lost.
Bruce: Yeah, we better get out in the next village.
Adrian: Or at the castle ...
Dave: What castle? What do you mean?
Adrian: This whole scenery reminds me of a movie ...
Dave: Which one? Maybe I have seen it too.
Adrian: Yeah, you have. I hope I'm wrong here, but think about it: the dark forest, the full moon, an eerie coachman, driving toward a castle like hell ... doesn't that remind you of ...
Bruce: Fuck! Dracula!
Adrian: Exactly.
Dave: I thought that was only a movie.
Bruce: Well, the real count existed. Come to think of it, this area looks a bit like Transsylvania.
Dave: But vampires don't exist, do they?
Adrian: No, probably not. Although you never know. I thought Santa didn't exist either.
Bruce: That Santa experience really seems like a dream to me in retrospect.
Adrian: Yeah, but it was a nice dream. And this one will turn out a nightmare, if my gut feeling is right.
Dave: And we don't even have garlic or a cross to protect ourselves.
Bruce: I don't think garlic will help you here.
Dave: Maybe jumping out of a moving coach isn't such a bad idea after all.
Adrian: We better prepare. What do we know about Dracula?
Bruce: I did a song about him. My first recorded song ever. Nice memories, come to think of it. My name is Draculaahaa...
Adrian: Please, Bruce, don't sing now. Especially not this wolf-howling. It doesn't help the situation.
Bruce: Ok, no howling, sure. Instead: Brainstorming. What else do we know about the bloke?
Dave: He bites people.
Bruce: Honestly, I think that's only a legend.
Dave: There's always a grain of truth in every legend.
Bruce: Well, then let's hope the biting thingy is not that grain ...
Adrian: Oh damn. Why are we always cut off from the others when we get into trouble?
...
Steve: And why didn't they just jump out of the coach?
Janick: It was too fast. They could have hurt themselves really bad.
Steve: So what? Now we have to find them. And we could even get more hurt in the process. Splitting up is never a good idea. Fuck.
Janick: It wasn't really their fault that the coach just left ...
Steve: Are you sure? What if Bruce told the driver to go on? To go sightseeing?
Janick: Not even Bruce would do such a thing ...
Steve: Hm.
Nicko: Well, there is a tavern. Let's find out where we are.
Steve: All right. What else can we do?
Nicko: Wo-ho! Plenty of people in here. Good, good.
Janick: They're looking strangely at us, though.
Steve: Probably not used to strangers. It's pretty cut-off here in the forest.
Nicko: People always look strangely at us when we enter a bar. Remember Billy the Kid?
Janick: Don't remind me of that lunatic. He gave me some bruised ribs.
Nicko: And me a shot in the thigh. That was adventure if ever there was any. Ok, let's mingle with the crowd. Ehem, hello guys. We just arrived by coach.
Barman: By coach? There is no coach-service here.
Steve: Oh, how come we did arrive here by coach then?
Barman: I don't know, you tell me.
Steve: Hey, mister, I really need to know where that coach is headed. Our friends are still in there.
Barman: Why didn't they get out?
Steve: Does it matter? Where did they go?
Barmaid: Probably to the castle. May God be with them.
Janick: There is a castle nearby?
Barmaid: Yes, the forest clears after some two miles. From there you can see the castle. But you don't want to go there by night.
Nicko: Why, are there vampires and werewolves around? Hehe.
Barmaid:
Barman:
Guests:
Steve: Oh no!
Janick: You don't think ...?
Nicko: Oops.
Barmaid: Don't talk lightly about such things, stranger. And don't go near the castle tonight.
Barman: You can stay upstairs in the guestroom, if you like.
Steve: No, we're not gonna sleep while our friends might be in danger.
Barmaid: You don't want to cross the forest after dark, do you?
Steve: Just point the way, alright? We're not asking any of you heroes to come with us.
Barmaid: I implore you, stay.
Nicko: Now I know what creepy feeling Adrian was having all along. He probably thought about the movie.
Janick: Damn, that would also explain what stake BBC wants ...
Steve: All right, we have no time to lose.
...
Bruce: The coach has stopped again.
Dave: Is that good or bad?
Adrian: Bad. There is the castle. Damn. I really hoped I was wrong on this one.
Bruce: And we don't even have Nicko's camera to film all this. BBC will be furious.
Adrian: I think BBC is the least of our worries.
Coachman: What are you still doing in there?
Bruce: Eh, hi again. You were kinda inna rush, so we didn't have time to get out in the village.
Coachman: Too bad for you.
Bruce: You wouldn't be heading back to the village tonight, by any chance?
Coachman: No.
Bruce: Thought so. Well in that case, we'll just walk. It wasn't too far. See ya.
Vlad: Good evening, gentlemen. Visitors to my humble abode, I'm most delighted. Who did you bring, coachman?
Coachman: They were lost in the forest, I took them to the village. They forgot to get out.
Dave: Is that ... ?
Vlad: I am Vlad, Count Dracul. And who are you?
Bruce: We come from afar. We are here on business.
Vlad: Interesting. You have to tell me all about it. Please, be my guests tonight. We'll have dinner shortly.
Dave: I know that part. He's gonna feast on us.
Bruce: I seriously don't think the guy is a vampire. That was only a myth. Invented by Mr Stoker.
Dave: Stoker? Stake? - I want to go home!
Bruce: We will. Soon. Right after dinner. Let's tuck in, first.
Adrian: Still, Dave has a point, we should be careful. That Vlad guy had a creepy kind of hospitality.
Dave: You think 'Arry, Jan and Nick will come and get us?
Bruce: They probably have found out by now where we are, and knowing 'Arry, yes, he will definitely be planning something to get us out of here, and then I will get a bollocking again. As always. He will blame me for not getting out of that coach. Never mind that I sat wedged in between you two.
...
Janick: Do you really think it was a good idea to walk through the forest by night?
Steve: It's not that late yet.
Janick: But it's already dark.
Nicko: You don't honestly believe in werewolves, do you?
Janick: No, but real wolves can be a real problem.
Steve: The girl gave us all a knife, so we can defend ourselves. And we have the lantern.
Janick: She also gave us a cross. Do you really think that was necessary?
Steve: No, of course I don't believe in vampires, but the folks around here seem to be pretty superstitious.
Nicko: Anyway, I don't think that Count Dracula was too nice a person, even if he wasn't actually a vampire.
Steve: Exactly. And that's why we have to get Dave, H and Bruce out of there as quick as possible. I hope they had the sense to get back on the path.
Janick: Yes, then we should meet them half-way.
Steve: But knowing Bruce, he probably wants to play tourist again.
Nicko: Shhh, did you hear that?
Janick: That was an owl hooting.
Nicko: Are you sure?
Steve: Just keep walking. Two miles is not that far.
Janick: In pitch-darkness it is.
...
Vlad: Your rooms will be prepared this instant. Please, make yourself comfortable. Wine?
Bruce: Yes, why not? Thanks.
Dave: Are you sure this is red wine and not something else?
Bruce: Don't be silly, of course it's wine. Woooah, have a lookie: a real coat of arms. Is that a dragon?
Vlad: Yes, it's the family coat of arms. Hence the name: Vlad Dracul.
Bruce: Dracul - Romanian for dragon. Yes, that makes sense, of course. I always thought your family name was Tepes or something.
Vlad: Where did you hear that?
Bruce: Ehm, I could have been mistaken of course.
Vlad: Forgive me for shouting at you. But people talk a lot around here. The powerful are not always the most loved ones.
Adrian: No wonder.
Vlad: We will talk about this later. My manservant will bring you to your rooms. You can rest a bit before dinner.
...
Manservant: Here is your room.
Bruce: Can I ask you something? Is your name Igor?
Manservant: No. Enjoy your stay.
Bruce: Ok, just asking. Thanks. See you later ... Unfriendly guy.
Dave: Why would he be called Igor?
Bruce: Like the Uberwald-Igors?
Dave:
Bruce: You have never read Pratchett, have you?
Dave: No.
Bruce: Thought so.
Adrian: Ok, what's the plan?
Bruce: Do we need a plan?
Adrian: Honestly, yes I think so. Look, the best thing would have been to quietly creep out of the coach and head back the way we were coming. It wasn't that far. Couldn't have been more than two miles or so.
Bruce: Two miles through pitch-darkness. Never mind Darkness Be My Friend. Anything could happen in a forest, darkly.
Dave: Well, anything could happen here, and worse.
Adrian: I'm sure, Steve, Nick and Jan are crossing the forest right now to come and get us.
Bruce: Nah, not even 'Arry will run around in the forest after dark.
...
Steve: It's not a wolf, it's smaller than that. Let's move on.
Janick: Luckily there is only one road. I'm sure we have already walked more than two miles.
Nicko: In the dark, distances always seem longer.
Steve: Ok, we need a plan for when we get to the castle. First of all, we have to check out where they're at, and whether they are in trouble.
Janick: You think they might have been thrown in a dungeon or something?
Steve: That's the worst case scenario. Let's not hope for that.
Nicko: Well, people around here honour hospitality, I think. Maybe they're all sitting at a table.
Janick: Talking tall and drinking wine?
Steve: Look, for once that I don't have Bruce with me and now you two start quoting songs. Stop it please, I'm nervous enough as it is.
Janick: Sorry, but Nicko is right. Maybe the Count invited them for dinner.
Steve: Nicko is hungry, that's why he can only think about food.
Nicko: Maybe we had to find a "steak" after all.
Steve: Hmm. Actually the thing about the stake worries me a bit. According to legend, you have to thrust a stake through a vampire's heart to kill him.
Janick: I don't suppose BBC really believes we will fight vampires here.
Steve: I wouldn't put it beneath them. But I hope it won't come to that. Let's not be superstitious. Vampires don't exist.
Nicko: We'll find out soon. Up there is the castle.
...
Dave: In the movie, the guy had these really hot birds in the cellar.
Adrian: Yeah, and they were all vampires, so let's hope he doesn't have them here.
Dave: Oops, you're right.
Adrian: Honestly, I don't think that the Count is a real vampire. That myth only came up later.
Dave: Do you know why?
Adrian: Yes, actually I do. They called him Vlad the Impaler.
Bruce: Isn't that a bit perverted? Hehe.
Adrian: Bruce, not everybody thinks about sexual connotations immediately.
Dave: I did.
Bruce: Ah, see? No, of course I know why he was called the Impaler: His enemies were killed by being impaled on a large pole. Actually, the name "Tepes" means Impaler.
Dave: No wonder he became angry when you called him that. You shouldn't have said that.
Bruce: Yes, I know, my mouth opens before my brain has time to think. Bad habit of me.
Adrian: Impaled ...
Dave: That's gruesome.
Bruce: Yes, very blood-thirsty, hence the legend.
Adrian: Impaled on a stake ...
Bruce: Yes. Oh-oh. The "historical stake".
Adrian: Correct. Damn.
Dave: You think we need to find one of his stakes where he kills people with?
Bruce: Is that correct English?
Dave: I don't care, I'm nervous.
Adrian: Fuck, how should we do that? Even if we found one, we cannot run off fast enough with a large stake, in case they give chase.
Bruce: Shut up, Igor is coming back.
Manservant: Dinner is ready. Follow me.
...
Janick: Pretty steep hill we have to climb. It's still farther than I thought.
Nicko: But the view of the castle is excellent. I'm gonna film around a bit. ... Oh-oh.
Steve: What? Each time you say oh-oh, I fear the worst.
Nicko: Well, I just saw something very ugly.
Janick: Something dangerous?
Nicko: Not any more, by the looks of it. Look down there, in the field. Dracul's enemies, I suppose.
Steve: Oh damn. Now I know why he got the name "the Impaler".
Janick: Man's inhumanity to man. There must be hundreds of them. What a gruesome way to die.
Steve: And three of my bandmates are currently in that psychopath's castle.
Nicko: These are stakes, right? Don't you think that was what BBC wanted us to get?
Janick: You're not seriously considering taking a body from the stake and bringing the bloody thing home with us, do you?
Nicko: Maybe there are some spare ones lying around in the field. We could have a look around later.
Steve: Right, but first we'll check out whether we have to help the others.
Janick: The gates are open. Might be a good sign.
Steve: Let's be careful nevertheless. Nicko, can you zoom in on a room and check if you see them?
Nicko: Sure. Let's see what's happening inside...
...
Vlad: Ah, my guests have arrived. Please sit down. Dinner will be served. Wine?
Adrian: Is he trying to make us drunk?
Dave: Probably, so that we are willing victims later on.
Vlad: Here comes the soup. Enjoy your meal.
Bruce: Looks like a normal chicken broth. I was hoping for something more spectacular. Like a blood-soup or something.
Vlad: Ah, I see you heard the rumours. Well, they are true, in this case.
Dave: Excuse me?
Vlad: Bread, dipped in the blood of your victims. Not only is it very refreshing and invigorating. It is also a mental thing. You sense their force going into you. The ultimate power over your enemies, draining them of their blood.
Adrian: This guy is a lunatic.
Bruce: I agree for once.
Vlad: But of course, I would not serve this to my guests.
Dave: Do you hate garlic?
Vlad: Garlic? No, of course not. Actually I like the taste of garlic in my food.
Dave: Damn, there goes one myth.
Adrian: We don't have garlic anyway.
Dave: True, but still.
Vlad: Here comes the meat, I hope you like it rare.
Bruce: Steak tartare. Well, it's been a while since I last had it.
Vlad: Tuck in then.
Adrian: Now this reminds me of a scene from this Waxworks movie.
Bruce: Really? Haven't seen that one.
Adrian: You haven't missed much.
Dave: This is steak from a bull, right?
Vlad: Of course, did you think I would eat humans?
Bruce: Haha, no, of course not. I hope.
Dave: I'm happy when this dinner is over. I am not really hungry.
Adrian: Me neither. I wonder what Nicko, Jan, and 'Arry are doing right now?
...
Nicko: Fuck me old boots. We worry about them, we're running through the cold, dark forest for them, and all the while they are sitting down and having a nice meal.
Steve: They're eating?
Nicko: Yes. Happy as pie, it seems. And here's me being hungry still. I should have stayed in that coach as well.
Steve: Hm, I don't trust the peace. Who knows what will happen later?
Janick: Anyway, we found the stakes, so maybe we should tell them we're here, finish the mission and go home?
Steve: Yes, I try to creep nearer to the window and get their attention.
Nicko: Make sure nobody sees you.
Steve: I'll do my best.
Janick: Meanwhile, Nick and me will get a spare stake. That way, we can leave immediately.
Steve: Yes, that's a good idea. But be careful.
Nicko: Sure, see ya later.
...
Vlad: I hope you liked the fruit.
Bruce: It was excellent.
Dave: Actually that was the only thing I liked about that dinner.
Vlad: Will you follow me to the salon? We can have another glass of wine, before we lie down for the night.
Dave: You actually sleep during the night?
Vlad: Of course. The night is for sleeping, the day for working. Why?
Dave: I just thought. Daylight and all ...
Adrian: He is not a vampire, so stop making insinuations all the time. This is suspicious.
Dave: Sorry. Watch closely, he will pass by a mirror soon. Let's see if he has a mirror-image.
Bruce: Of course he does. Davey, stop being paranoid. See, he even has a shadow.
Dave: Amazing. But still, that doesn't mean he is not a vampire. If you look carefully, you will not find one single cross in the entire castle.
Adrian: So what, I don't have a cross at home either. That doesn't mean that I'm a vampire.
...
Janick: Pooh, this place gives me the creeps.
Nicko: Me too. So many dead people. Sorry, but I'm not filming this. It's really too gruesome.
Janick: I hate to say it, but bloodthirsty BBC would probably love to have this battlefield on tape.
Nicko: Well, for once I don't care. There is a thing called decency. Too bad for them.
Janick: You're right. There are some unused stakes lying over there, see?
Nicko: Yes, they look a bit smaller than the others. They were probably not the right size to kill.
Janick: We should take one of these. At least there is no blood or offal on them.
Nicko: Yes, you're right. And it's not too big. Let's try if we can lift it.
Janick: Pooh, they're pretty heavy. Ok, I have it now, can you move?
Nicko: Yes, just walk carefully up that hill. And let's make breaks in-between.
Janick: I hope the others won't be in trouble. When I see what this guy is capable of ...
...
Bruce: Did you see that?
Dave: What?
Bruce: There was a shadow outside the window. Something is outside.
Adrian: Something? More likely: someone.
Bruce: You never know.
Dave: Stop scaring me.
Bruce: There it was again. The left window.
Adrian: Could be one of the manservants.
Vlad: What is that commotion outside?
Bruce: Oh, you saw it as well?
Vlad: Servant, go and find out why the people are shouting outside.
Adrian: I sense trouble.
Manservant: There was a man spying around in the courtyard, looking through the windows.
Bruce: Yes, I think I saw that guy.
Vlad: Bring him in. I will question the traitor.
Manservant: Three guards had to bind him, he is really furious and fighting like a madman.
Vlad: Well, bring him in. Let's see if he will still fight then.
Dave:
Adrian: Oh, no!
Bruce: Shit. Why is he alone?
Guard: Stop struggling!
Steve: Leave me be, you damn bullies! Fuck!
...
Nicko: Can you still hold the stake?
Janick: Pooh, yes, but I hope we're up on the main road soon. Feels like my arm is falling off.
Nicko: Only a few more yards. I see the road already. ... Here we are. Pooh, we did it.
Janick: Well, someone else can carry that stake to the TM. We have done enough for tonight.
Nicko: Hmm, they haven't arrived yet. I hope there's nothing wrong.
Janick: What do you think? Should we go have a look?
Nicko: If they're not here in five minutes, we should indeed.
...
Vlad: Speak up! You are a spy, right?
Steve: What? No! I'm not the one here killing people just for fun.
Vlad: What does that mean?
Bruce: Ehem, sorry, I think there has been a bit of a mistake here.
Vlad: A mistake?
Adrian: Yes, actually, we know this man. He's not a spy.
Dave: He is our friend.
Vlad: So, how come he was spying around the castle?
Steve: I wasn't spying around. I was looking for my friends. Making sure they are safe.
Vlad: How laudable. Why did you think they would be in any danger?
Steve: Well, seeing what you did to the others ...
Vlad: Yes?
Bruce: Ehhh, we are ok, Steve, no worries. We had a nice cosy dinner with our host here. But actually, it's good that you come pick us up. We need to go, I suppose?
Steve: Yes, that's why I came here. Everything is ready, we can leave.
Adrian: Glad to hear that.
Vlad: You are my guests for tonight. Forgive me that my guards bound you in chains. ... Unbind this man immediately, he is a guest as well.
Steve: Oh no, sorry, we cannot linger any longer.
Bruce: Pressing business, you see.
Adrian: Ultra-urgent. Gotta get back to London.
Vlad: You remind me of a very fine gentleman - he was based in the British capital as well ... But it is dangerous to travel by night. I insist you stay.
Dave: Damn, that guy wants to suck us dry, I simply know it.
Bruce: Let's not contradict him. Just pretend, ok? We shouldn't raise a fuss.
Steve: All right, we accept the invitation. Can we go to bed now?
Vlad: The servant will bring you to your rooms. Good night then. I will retire as well.
Manservant: Follow me.
...
Dave: So, where are Jan and Nicko?
Steve: They went back down the road. They are organizing the stake.
Bruce: You found a stake? That's good.
Steve: I found more than I wished for. That sight will haunt my sleepless nights for the rest of my life.
Bruce: New inspiration for a song maybe? Lyrics to Transsylvania?
Steve: It's not funny, Bruce.
Bruce: No, I suppose it's not. Sorry.
Adrian: Shit. We're locked in. That damn Igor has locked us in.
Steve: He's called Igor? Now if that isn't a cliché.
Bruce: Actually I only called him Igor. We don't know his real name. He's not too talkative.
Steve: Aha.
Dave: I know that part. He will come for us in the night and suck us dry.
Bruce: It's four against one, we should be able to deal with him.
Dave: What about the ladies in the cellar?
Steve: What ladies in the cellar?
Adrian: Nevermind. Here's a window. It's not locked.
Dave: It's not that high. We can climb out of here. Anything is better than staying and being sucked dry by a busty, lascivious female.
Bruce: Please, Dave, stop mentioning this dry-sucking business all the time. It makes me nervous.
Steve: Climbing out of a window makes me nervous.
Bruce: We're on the first floor. Even you can manage that, Steve. Just don't look down.
Steve: Well, if it's the only way out ... All right. Who goes first?
Dave: I will. I need to get out of here as soon as possible.
Bruce: Make sure nobody sees or hears you.
Adrian: We can climb down that vine.
Steve: What if it breaks?
Dave: Better that then ... something else. See ya down there, guys.
Adrian: Ok, I go next. Seems like the vine is holding the weight.
Bruce: Now you, 'Arry.
Steve: Why me?
Bruce: I'm not going to leave you behind. Down you go.
Steve: You don't know what acrophobia is.
Bruce: Yes, I know it, that's why I want you to go first. Come on, you won't fall. Get a steady grip on the vine, and all will go smoothly. If you fall, you fall on Adrian, that's a soft landing.
Adrian: I heard that, Bruce.
Bruce: Hehe.
Steve: Ok, I go. Damn, why do I always have to climb down from great heights?
...
Nicko: I'm starting to worry. I cannot even see them with me camera zoom.
Janick: Maybe one of us should have a look and the other stays here, in case they arrive in the meantime?
Nicko: No, we shouldn't split up again. That's not a good idea.
Janick: Look, there is only one road to the castle. They have to meet us if they come down.
Nicko: Let's both go.
Janick: It wasn't that far. See, there is the front gate already.
Nicko: Still open, luckily.
Janick: Nevertheless we should be careful. Steve would already have been back if there wasn't trouble.
Nicko: Actually, if I'm not mistaken, Steve is climbing out of a window to the right.
Janick: What? Now that's a thing I don't believe.
Nicko: Look over there.
Janick: You're right. What the hell are they doing?
Nicko: Let's go and help them.
Janick: But quietly. If Steve is agreeing to climb out of a window, there must be trouble.
...
Adrian: Well, done, 'Arry. See, you made it safely to the ground again.
Steve: Pooh, it wasn't even as bad as I feared.
Dave: Ah there are Jan and Nicko. Hi guys.
Janick: So, is there any trouble?
Steve: Why didn't you stay on the road?
Nicko: Well, we thought you might need a hand. There was only one road, so we were sure not to miss you ...
Steve: Do you have the stake?
Janick: Yes, but it's really a heavy thing.
Nicko: We cannot run away with it, in case that's what we need to do.
Adrian: Let's hope not. Once Bruce is down, we'll just leave.
Bruce: Here I am. We can go now. Ah, I see Maiden is together again. Where's the stake?
Nicko: We left it down the road.
Dave: It's over two miles back through the forest.
Steve: And then we're only in the village. That's not where the TM was.
Adrian: Two more miles still, at least.
Janick: No way we can carry the stake that far.
Bruce: I have an idea. You go and get the stake. Be prepared for a swift departure.
Steve: Where are you going? Why will he never stay with us? What has he planned now? Adrian, you go after him. Make sure he doesn't get into trouble. We will wait down the road.
Adrian: Ok. See you later.
...
Nicko: Alright, here is the stake. And we didn't even take the largest one.
Dave: Watch out, there's a bat flying. That's probably him.
Janick: Who?
Dave: Dracula.
Janick: I think the bat-part is a only myth.
Dave: You never know.
Steve: Damn, I hear the coach rattling down. They probably found Bruce and H. And now they're looking for us.
Dave: I told you it was the bat. And now he knows where we are.
Janick: Let's hide, quick. Oh, no, wait ... it's Bruce and Adrian!
Bruce: Hehe, come on guys.
Dave: You nicked their coach?
Adrian: We "borrowed" it, yes. Get that stake in, quick.
Bruce: Yes, because they kinda heard us. And I suppose they will follow us soon.
Steve: Great. Was that your ingenious idea?
Bruce: Well, we will be much quicker at the TM like that.
Steve: Or not at all, if the guards get to us earlier.
Bruce: We're quicker with a coach.
Steve: A coach with six people and a heavy stake is slower than riders on horseback, believe me.
Bruce: Yes, we thought about that as well, hehe.
Adrian: That's why we first freed the horses from the stable. There's gonna be chaos up at the castle right now, hah.
Nicko: Well, done, I must say.
Janick: Still, we better hurry.
Bruce: Sure, as soon as you're in, I'm off like a shot.
Dave: Can you steer a coach?
Bruce: Never done it before, but I'll try. Can't be more difficult than an airplane.
...
Adrian: We just crossed the village. Everything all right in the back?
Dave: Yes, we're fine.
Nicko: A bit bumpy though.
Steve: Can you see whether we are being followed?
Adrian: Ehm ... wait ... no, sorry, I can't see a thing. It's too dark.
Steve: Hm. Bruce, do you have to take every turn at maximum speed?
Bruce: Yes, I want to get us out of here as quick as possible.
Nicko: Be careful that the coach doesn't slip and fall to the side.
Bruce: Okey-dokey.
Adrian: I can see the TM. We're there guys. We made it.
Bruce: How do I stop the horses?
Adrian: Oh, fuck, hey, stop! Brrrrr!! Pull the reins, Bruce, pull back. Shhhh, calm down.
Bruce: Pooh. Ehem, ok. It's easier to make them run than to make them stop. Ok, everybody out from the back.
Nicko: Let's get the stake out.
Steve: Hurry! I think I hear horses approaching.
Dave: Damn. Come on guys. Get that stake in. At least get yourselves in.
Janick: Ok, let's heave it up on the count of three: one ... two ... three. Argh!
Bruce: It's in. Fuck, 'Arry is right, there are horses approaching.
Steve: Get in, all of you. And someone push the button.
Nicko: Not a good moment for the TM to break down now.
Dave: Don't say such a thing.
Adrian: Nope, we're off. It worked.
Janick: We did it. We really made it out of there alive. In the nick of time.
Dave: And none of us got bitten by the vampire.
Steve: Ok, guys, now that we are all safely on the road to our own time, Bruce, can you please tell me one thing?
Bruce: Yes, what is it?
Steve: Why the fuck did you stay in that coach when we got out in the village?