21: Afloat in a Daydream or Lost in a Maze
… yeah, I know we signed on for these series, but we're in the
middle of a tour, for fuck's sake. They could give us a break.
Dave: Well, but they have to show an episode every
Friday evening. So they need our footage.
Janick: Yep, goes to reason. TV business is hard
business. Lots of deadlines.
Steve: I don't care about their deadlines. All I
care about is that we could seriously jeopardize our tour if we get
caught in trouble somewhere in time.
Adrian: Luckily that never happened so far.
Steve: Not only that. It's bad enough that we seem
to be fighting for our lives on each mission, but what if the time
machine breaks down?
Bruce: Well … then we have a little holiday
somewhere in time. I wouldn't mind.
Steve: But I would. I don't want to explain to our
fans that Maiden won't be doing the gig because they are stuck in
the Middle Ages or WWII.
Bruce: Some of our fans might be thinking that already
Steve: That's NOT funny.
Nicko: Seriously, 'Arry, don't worry. The TM never
broke down so far.
Adrian: There's a first time for everything …
Dave: Don't be so negative, H.
Steve: But still … IF we get stuck, who's gonna
repair that damn machine?
Dave: Uhm. I didn't think about that. To think that
I can't even repair a toaster …
Steve: See! That's what I mean. We could be stuck
with ball playing loonies for ages.
Bruce: Aren't we already?
Bruce: Ok, bad joke. Forget I even opened my mouth.
As for the TM ... I'm sure I can repair it, if I have to.
Janick: Seriously? How come?
Bruce: Well … I was having a little chat with
the mechanics and scientists who created the machine. I was poking
around and asking questions and …
Steve: ... and generally getting
on everyone's nerves ...
Bruce: ... and so there you go. I'm confident that
I know enough of the mechanism to repair it.
Steve: Hm. But if we miss one gig because of …
Bruce: It's ok, 'Arry, we got it. We'll be extra
careful this time, promised. And I won't be roaming around, ok? No
extra tours for Brucey. That's what you wanted to hear, right?
Steve: Among some other reassuring lies, yes. I'm
still not convinced. Ah what the fuck, let's get it over with.
Nicko: 'Kin great, then I push in the numbers …
weeeee … let's go-ho!
Adrian: Damn it's hot here. Where are we?
Dave: And what's the mission?
Janick: I have the paper here: "Film the inside
of a labyrinth." Aha.
Nicko: This is an unusal task. Usually we have to
Steve: Well, in this case we have to find a labyrinth
Nicko: True. Probably a famous labyrinth.
Bruce: I hope it's not THAT labyrinth.
Adrian: What do you mean? You make it sound like
Bruce: Well, there's only one famous labyrinth I
can think of. And I also know the myth that goes with it.
Dave: What myth?
Bruce: Fly on your way … like an eagle, does
it ring a bell?
Steve: We're not gonna play it on this tour, Bruce.
Adrian: Even though we should have ...
Janick: Yes, the fans were expecting it.
Dave: Even more than Charlotte the Harlot.
Bruce: Can we get back to the topic at hand? What
I meant was: Icarus …
Nicko: Me with a cape, haha!
Steve: You looked great in that shot, Nicko.
Nicko: Thankee, thankee.
Bruce: Guys, a bit of seriosity, please. Dave, try
to think: Icarus, Daedalus …
Bruce: The Minotaur …
Dave: Mine O'Thor?
Janick: Oh, damn you think we're in Crete?
Dave: Thor is a Nordic God, not a Cretian one.
Bruce: I don't think anything. I'm just saying, that's
one hell of a famous labyrinth. And I'm seriously hoping the Minotaur
legend is NOT true.
Dave: What is the mine O'Thor?
Nicko: That's only Greek mythology. That can't be
Steve: Helena and the Trojan Horse was true …
Dave: Helena was hot.
Janick: Yeah, but the Minotaur is fiction for sure
Dave: A labyrinth in a mine?
Five puzzled Maiden members:
Dave: What? Stop looking like you had questions marks
coming out of your head. Somebody care to enlighten me?
Bruce: The Minotaur is a monster, half human, half
bull. He was kept in a labyrinth, and each year he devored ten young
people who were given to him as a sacrifice.
Dave: Umph. Why did I ask?
Adrian: You surely don't believe in monsters …
Dave: Well … you never know. There's a grain
of truth in every myth.
Nicko: You better Adam and Eve that. So let's be
Bruce: Can you please stop Cockneying, Nick?
Steve: Why, 'avin' trouble understandin' us, public
Janick: So I guess we have to find this labyrinth
and make a picture of it, correct?
Adrian: Does that mean, we have to be INSIDE the
Dave: I hope not. What if this Minotaur monster is
Bruce: Well, the mission says: "Film INSIDE
the labyrinth". So I guess we have to enter. … What's the
Steve: Huh? Oh, I was only thinking about how to
proceed. Listen, guys, I'm pretty sure that we are indeed in Cnossos.
So we have to find this labyrinth. And yes, I think we have to enter
it to make a picture …
Dave: But …
Steve: … and, no, Dave, I don't believe in
monsters. But we ought to be careful nevertheless.
Janick: So, anybody's got a plan?
Steve: Well, remember when we had that break in the
Fear of the Dark tour?
Steve: When you guys all went scuba diving in Egypt?
Dave: That was fun.
Adrian: Why don't we ever go scuba-diving when I'm
in the band?
Steve: Meanwhile I was laying low in Crete. Shipped
the family over and rented a little mountain cottage.
Adrian: Thanks for sharing. What's that got to do
with the labyrinth?
Steve: Well, I took a guided tour through the ruins
of Cnossos ...
Dave: You took a tour while relaxing from the tour?
Steve: ... and from what I remember, the labyrinth
was supposed to be inside the city palace. Underground. So first,
we have to find the palace …
Bruce: Which shouldn't be that hard …
Nicko: Then we have to enter the labyrinth …
Dave: Which I strongly object to …
Janick: And finally we have to shoot a picture and
get out of there again …
Adrian: Which, as usual, will be the most difficult
part of the mission.
Steve: Ok, guys, I remember seeing this column on
the tour. Follow me, I think I know where we are, and I also know
how to get to the palace.
Janick: Let's all swallow a pill. We better speak
Bruce: Good idea. The Minoan language, written in
the so-called Linear A script, is not yet deciphered. I once read
a very interesting article about it, which said that …
Steve: Did it say anything about how to solve this
Bruce: Naw, of course not, it was about the Linear
Steve: Then I don't want to hear about it just yet.
Bruce: Ok, ok, I know when my info isn't wanted.
Dave: Why didn't you mention the Minotaur in Flight
of Icarus, Bruce?
Bruce: Because by the time Daedalus escaped the labyrinth,
the monster was already dead.
Dave: Dead alas?
Steve: Icarus' father. The bloke who built the labyrinth.
Steve: Ok, here we are. That's the palace. Looks
a bit different than when I last saw it, but it's definitely the place.
Bruce: Isn't time an interesting concept? You saw
the palace in ruins, BEFORE you saw it whole. Although that's been
over 3000 years ago. Isn't that a paradox?
Steve: I'm spending my free time with you while I
could be playing footie with me mates. That's a whole lot more astonishing,
if you ask me.
Bruce: I'm not taking that personal.
Steve: Anyway, we don't have time for your esoteric
time talk now. Why don't you write a song about it?
Bruce: Sure, I'll write a song about it. A great
song. A top-ten song. And you know what? I'm gonna put it on my next
Steve: No need to pout, Bruce.
Bruce: I'm not pouting. I'm just making a statement.
It will be a terrific song. And you will beg me to have it for Maiden,
but I will say no!
Janick: Like with Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter?
Bruce: No need to be cynic, ok?
Nicko: Anyway, laddies. Here we are in front of the
palace. How do we get in?
Adrian: And how do we get out again?
Steve: Well, let's first get in. I wish I had the
tourist plan for the palace with me. Would be of some help now.
Dave: You said, the labyrinth was underground. So
I guess we need to find stairs.
Janick: What is it?
Bruce: A footstep behind you.
Dave: This reminds me that we should play Killers
on the tour.
Steve: We already discussed that, didn't we?
Dave: No. I asked: Can we play Killers. And you said
Steve: That's discussing it.
Adrian: Someone's approaching …
Bruce: Let's hide in this niche. Maybe we can find
out something important.
Daedalus: My king, this is insane. We cannot ask
this tribute of them.
Minos: We have to show them that we are the ruling
power. You won't make me change my mind, Daedalus. Do your work, and
I do mine. And don't make me angry.
Daedalus: But …
Minos: I don't have time now. We'll talk later. Fare
Bruce: That's the guy himself, Daedalus.
Steve: So that part of the myth is
already true. Shit!
Dave: You don't think that the rest is true …
Daedalus: Anybody there? ... Hey, who are you?
Nicko: Fuck, he saw us.
Bruce: Ehm, hello, Daedalus. We are just visiting
the palace. It's too hot outside, so we thought let's take a stroll
in here. Much more cooler in these vast halls.
Daedalus: Excuse me? You are spies, aren't you?
Steve: No! We are NOT spies. No need to get us into
trouble, believe me.
Daedalus: Oh, I see … Do you have news from
Dave: Icarus, right?
Daedalus: Yes, Icarus. Let's not talk here, walls
have ears. Follow me into my private rooms.
Adrian: What does he mean?
Bruce: No idea, but this might be
our chance to get into the labyrinth without trouble. Let's play along.
Daedalus: Ok, here we can talk freely. Do you know
of my son's whereabouts?
Bruce: What exactly happened?
Daedalus: Well, King Minos wants me to finish some
crazy constructions for his own glory, and if I refuse, he has threatened
to kill my son. The man is a maniac.
Steve: Not again.
I've had enough of these power-hungry monarchs.
Daedalus: You can say that aloud. Me too. But I have
to do it, or I might never see my son again. Now I was hoping you
would know where he was kept prisoner. Unfortunately I cannot leave
the palace, or I would look for him myself.
Dave: Maybe he's gone off flying.
Bruce: Ehm, if we help you find Icarus, would you
do us a favour?
Steve: Bruce, you promised not to get into trouble.
Bruce: I'm not getting into trouble. I'm trying to
solve our mission. And in the process help this poor, worried man.
Steve: That is my definition of "getting into
Daedulus: If you find Icarus, I'll do anything you
Nicko: Would you show us a bit around in your famous
How do you know about the labyrinth?
Nicko: Ehm …
Bruce: Is it a secret?
Daedalus: Well, I would have thought so. I haven't
even finished it yet. That was one of the crazy projects I mentioned
earlier on. Are you spies of King Minos, checking on me?
Janick: No, we're not, honestly.
Bruce: And to prove it, we will help you find your
Daedalus: Deal. I'm very grateful. A guy named Radathis
is my contact in town, so if you could deliver a letter to him, he
will make the necessary moves.
Bruce: Good plan. Come on guys, we split up, ok?
Three follow Daedalus to the construction site of the labyrinth and
three deliver the letter. Ok?
Steve: But this time, no matter what, I'll stay in
the same group than you, Bruce.
Bruce: Aw, 'Arry, I didn't know you loved me that
Bruce: Or maybe you don't. Wrong interpretation.
Dave: I have a question, Mr Daedalus.
Daedalus: What is it?
Dave: Is there a Minotaur?
Daedalus: Of course there is.
Janick: You're kidding!
Daedalus: Ehm, no. The Minotaur is King Minos' sacred
bull. He is kept in a wonderful stable right outside the palace walls.
Each year we have a ceremony for him.
Bruce: Interesting. That's something the archeologists
haven't found out yet.
Adrian: So, this Minotaur is a real bull?
Dave: And not half-human, by any chance?
Daedalus: Half-human? No, when I last saw him, it
was a real bull. What do you mean?
Steve: We read too many books. Never mind. Ok, we'll
help you. So, who's going where?
Nicko: I guess I will have to be in the labyrinth
team, as I'm the cameraman.
Bruce: I would like to see the labyrinth too, if
I may, please?
Steve: Ok, that leaves the letter delivery to our
three guitarists. Are you alright with that task?
Janick: Yeah, sure, why not?
Adrian: Ok, we'll do our best to find the bloke.
Dave: I wasn't so keen on that labyrinth anyway.
You never know …
Daedalus: Thank you so much. Here is the letter and
on this paper are the directions through town. Take care. And the
others, follow me to the construction site.
Dave: I think we have the easier mission this time.
Janick: You think so? Look at this map with the directions.
I don't have a clue how to read this. I think he gave us a plan for
Dave: Uhm. Seriously? Damn.
Adrian: Show me. Hmmm. It would help if we were able
to read this.
Janick: Yeah, now I wish Bruce had told us about
Adrian: There's a full circle in the left corner,
and two half-circles on top and on the bottom of the paper. No circle
at all in the right corner. What could that mean?
Dave: Maybe some landmark?
Janick: This large quadrangle is probably the palace.
But we have to know how to turn the paper.
Adrian: I think I have it! What if the full circle
is the sun at noon, and the half-circles are sundawn and sunset. No
circle at all means that's the North then.
Janick: Ingenious. You might just be right.
Adrian: Hehe. Ok, I guess we're in the afternoon
now, so West is in that direction. The map has to be this way round
then. Let's go over there.
Dave: Didn't really get all this, but I'll follow
Daedalus: Be careful on these steps. They're a bit
slippery. And watch your head, we have to duck here. The roof through
this passage is built purposefully low.
Bruce: This is so interesting. There's no easy way
Daedalus: No, indeed. I am the only one who knows
the way out of the labyrinth. I spent so much time designing the intricate
outline of the passages that it has engraved itself into my mind forever.
So stay close or you might get lost.
Nicko: We'll stay close, don't worry. Camera
is running, excellent footage.
Steve: Anyway, we will not venture too far in. We
just wanted to see it quickly, that's all.
Daedalus: I'm always happy to present my work to
others. I was just so amazed that you knew about it, as King Minos
wants this place to be kept a secret.
Bruce: What's behind that door?
Daedalus: Nothing. It's just a fake door. Only stone
behind it. The place is full of those. If somebody wants to destroy
it to enter secret passages, they will get held up for nothing. King
Minos thinks it might drive his enemies into despair.
Steve: King Minos wouldn't be a bit paranoid, by
Daedalus: Well, he is a king. They have lots of enemies.
Steve: They should ask themselves why.
Bruce! Stay with the group!
Bruce: I just wanted to have a quick lookie into
that tunnel. It doesn't seem to go very far.
Daeadlus: It only goes for about 2 yards, then drops
into a 5 yard deep pit. Better stay out of there.
Bruce: Oh, I see.
Steve: Bruce! If you fall into a pit, I swear, I
let you stew in there. Stay - with - the - group!
Dave: H, you were right, there's the stone-arch that's
on the map.
We're on the right track.
Janick: Great, so we have to make a left turn here.
And the house in question should come into view.
Adrian: Probably that one over there. See the tree
next to it? There's just the same tree depicted on the map. It was
a piece of cake.
Dave: You're a good boyscout.
Adrian: Actually I've never been in the boyscouts.
But I got used to reading maps while on holidays. The best fishing
lakes can often only be reached by foot through the wilderness. Reading
maps is essential there.
Janick: Ok, now should we knock on the door or what?
Dave: Yes, let's do that. *knocks*
Radathis: Who are you?
Janick: We are sent here by Daedalus to …
Radathis: Daedalus? Quick, come in. … Sit down,
please. Do you want anything to drink?
Sure, I'll have a pint, if you don't mind.
Radathis: A what?
Adrian: We're not in a pub, Dave. We take, whatever
you can offer, mate.
Radathis: I have wine, goat milk and water.
Dave: Wine, please.
Janick: I'll try the goat milk. I've never drunk
goat milk in my life.
Adrian: Yeah, I'd go with the goat milk too. Might
as well try the local drinks.
Radathis: There you go. So, what news do you have?
Is Daedalus alright?
Janick: It seems he is kept prisoner in the palace.
And now he's worried about his son.
Adrian: We have a letter from him for you. There
you go. I guess he will explain everything in there.
Radathis: Thanks, I will read it at once.
Dave: This wine is awfully sour.
Bruce: Seriously, this construction is just so amazing.
And you are sure you find your way around this maze?
Daedalus: Of course. Don't worry. I'll get you safely
out of here again.
Steve: Do you have enough footage, Nicko? Maybe we
could leave again? I'm starting to become claustrophobic in here.
Nicko: All right, let's pack it in. I think, BBC
can be happy with what I have so far.
Steve: Thanks for showing us your great labyrinth,
Daedalus. By now I think our friends will be back in the palace, so
we better also go back, don't you think?
Bruce: But this tunnel over there looks so interesting.
Can I just quickly …
Steve: Bruce! No!
Bruce: Ok, ok. Spoilsport.
Daedalus: Ok, let's go back. Here on the left, you
see some interesting drawings on the wall. They are my codes in case
I ever get lost in here. Just as a precaution. But no one else knows
what they mean.
Nicko: 'Kin ingenious. Let me film this.
Daedalus: And there is another tunnel with a deadly
end. The tunnels are all very dark, so you never see what lies ahead.
That's the danger of them.
Steve: I can imagine … wait! Where is Bruce?
Nicko: He was right behind me, just a minute ago.
Steve: Damn! We have to find him. Let's call for
Daedalus: Not a good idea. The walls are built so
that they would produce an awful echo. Some boulders might even come
down with the tremor. That was also a precaution, in case the enemy
is starting to shout to find each other.
Steve: Great. So we have to get back. Which way did
Radathis: All I can say is, the last time I talked
to Icarus was two days ago. We were talking about his father's latest
projects and he seemed very curious about it. Apparently Daedalus
was very secretive, even to his son, which pissed him right off. Icarus
can be a hothead at times. He never listens to his father's advice.
Janick: Well, that did cost him his
life in the end.
Adrian: Do you think King Minos is holding him captive
Radathis: Could be. He would be the man to do such
a thing. Want another glass of wine, friend?
Dave: Ehm, no thanks. I'd rather not.
Janick: So, where could he be imprisoned? I think,
Daedalus was hoping you could help him.
Adrian: Maybe we can bring a letter back? We have
to leave soon, I'm afraid. Our friends are waiting for us.
Radathis: I just thought about something. …
Icarus was very eager to see his father's new construction site, and
he said he would check it out by night, when nobody would hinder him.
Do you think he entered the labyrinth and got lost?
Janick: Then he's been in there for two days at least.
Adrian: We have to get back to the palace.
Radathis: Good luck, my friends.
Bruce: Oh, damn, and now I'm lost. 'Arry will be
furious. Why am I talking to myself here? I better shout for help,
maybe they find me.
Young Man: You better not do that, stranger.
Bruce: Boy, you almost gave me a heart-attack. What
are you doing here, crouched in this dark corner?
Young Man: I could ask you the same thing. I was
too curious for my own good, and now I'm lost. What's your story?
Bruce: Ehm … I guess pretty much the same.
Look, I wasn't alone in here. Why can't I shout for help? My friends
are probably not that far.
Young Man: See that caved in wall? I shouted when
I got lost. The wall just crumbled with the echo and nearly buried
me under it. We better not risk that again. Trust my father to come
up with the most complicated booby-traps.
Bruce: Your father?
Does that mean you're Icarus?
Janick: Ok, here we are at our meeting point. There's
the entrance to the maze.
Dave: But where are the others?
Adrian: They should be out by now. I sense trouble.
Dave: Do you think we should have a look in there?
Janick: Oh, no. What if we get lost?
Dave: Well, I trust H to find his way back out.
Adrian: I'm not so sure. This labyrinth is infamous
for being highly dangerous and complex. Let's wait some more time
before we do anything rash. Maybe they'll soon be coming out.
Steve: If I find Bruce I'll give him what for. How
dare he threaten our tour with his insane solo-flights?
Daedalus: You know, it is not that easy to find somebody
in here. He could be anywhere by now. He should have stayed with us.
Tell you what, first we get back to the entrance, we need new torches.
It's too dangerous in here without any light.
Steve: Ok, let's get back. I hope, Bruce at least
has the sense to stay put where he is right now, until we find him.
Nicko: I can see the entrance already. Hey, there's
the three amigos waiting outside in the sun. Hullo!
Dave: There's Nicko.
Daedalus: So, did you bring my letter to Radathis?
What did he tell you?
Janick: Your friend fears that Icarus wanted to check
out the labyrinth by night. We think he might be trapped in there.
Daedalus: Oh, no. He should have known better than
to venture in there. I told him it was dangerous.
Adrian: Where's Bruce?
Adrian: Don't tell me he got lost as well.
Adrian: Damn. Ok, so we are looking for Icarus and
Bruce now. Should we go in again?
Daedalus: As I said, the maze is enormous, they can
be anywhere. They could have fallen into traps …
Nicko: Let's think positive. Bruce will be cautious,
I'm sure. We'll find him.
Steve: Daedalus, you lead the way, as you know the
maze best. Let's get back to the place where we last saw Bruce. Each
of us will take a torch, but let's not light them up all at once.
That way, they will last longer.
Dave: Good idea.
I'm sure we'll find Bruce and the kid.
Icarus: Of course I was drawing some arrows on the
walls, to find my way back, but after some time, the torch went out,
and I was in the dark. I didn't dare to move, for fear of falling
into a pit.
Bruce: Yeah, that was very sensible. Apparently there
are many traps in here. Look, I'm sure your father and my friends
are already looking for us. Maybe we'll see their torches soon. We
better stay put here. That's the best we can do right now.
Icarus: I am very thirsty. I brought some water,
but I used it up some time ago.
Bruce: I'm sorry, I didn't bring any water. I have
a chewing gum, maybe you want that one?
Icarus: What is that?
Bruce: Ehm, some thingie, don't swallow it, just
chew on it, ok? It'll help your saliva.
Icarus: It's good. Thanks.
Janick: How on earth do you find your way around
in here? Amazing.
Dave: I was lost after the first bend.
Daedalus: This labyrinth is like my baby, I know
it by heart. Don't worry. I'll get you out, if you stay with me.
Steve: Oh believe me, we will all stay together.
The only one who wouldn't have heeded your advice, is the one we have
Daedalus: Your friend reminds me of my son. Always
eager to explore, never listening to advice. That's Icarus.
Steve: Yeah, that's Bruce too.
Adrian: Wait! See here: an arrow.
Daedalus: Interesting. That's none of my markings.
Maybe that's a sign from your friend.
Steve: Bruce didn't have chalk with him. No, I bet
that's your son's drawing.
Daedalus: Now that makes me proud of him. At least
he had the common sense to secure his way back.
Adrian: Problem is … he didn't get back.
Daedalus: You're right. I fear the worst.
Steve: Let's follow the arrows, maybe they lead us
Nicko: I can see shadows dancing on the wall. Behind
those rocks. That must be a torch.
Janick: You're right, let's have a look.
Bruce: See, what did I tell you: there they are.
Iron Maiden reunited again. I knew I could trust you. … How
come the amigos are with you?
Steve: Bruce! How come you got lost again?
Bruce: I asked first. Anyway, see who I found here.
Daedalus: Icarus! I told you not to come in here.
Icarus: I'm sorry, father.
Bruce: We better get him out quickly. He's dehydrated.
Daedalus: Yes, of course. I will lead us out. Can
you walk, Icarus?
Bruce: We better take turns carrying him on our backs.
What do you think, boys?
Nicko: Yeah, sure. He looks pretty weak. Come on
boy, I'll carry you.
Daedalus: … he is asleep now. Thank you so
much for your help. I appreciate. Do you want some wine?
Nicko: Yeah, sure.
Dave: No, Nicko, better not.
Nicko: Fuck my old boots! And why not?
Dave: Just a friendly advice. Trust
me. I'll tell you later.
Steve: Dave is right. We should be going. Our mission
is accomplished, and we have a long way to travel. Farewell, Daedalus.
Bruce: Yeah, and thank you so much for this a-maze-ing
tour. It was really something. Opened up my eyes about many things
Steve: Bruce, come on. Let's go.
Daedalus: Farewell, my friends.
Adrian: Finally, back in the TM again. I'm always
happy when I can see these red buttons blinking up.
Dave: Yes, me too.
Steve: Now this mission is over, I want us all to
concentrate on the next gig, ok? And I will have a talk with that
BBC-Manager, to persuade him to make a short break in the series.
We really can't do this every week. Not when we're touring the Ozzfest.
Bruce: … and I so wanted to ask him about the
Linear A script …