Part 18: Twenty Knots

Dave: Oops, stiff wind here. Where are we?
Nicko: Somehow our missions always start with the same question, hehe.
Adrian: It's too cold here, I wanna go home …
Bruce: Well, maybe this mission is really easy, then we will be out of here in no time.
Adrian: Why don't I believe that?
Janick: Because it's never true?
Steve: Ok, guys, listen to the mission at hand: "Bring back a wire from the brothers."
Nicko: Wire? A simple metal wire?
Dave: What brothers?
Bruce: I guess they mean famous brothers …
Dave: How many brothers?
Steve: It doesn't specify.
Adrian: They couldn't be more precise, huh? Always the same mind games ...
Bruce: Maybe three brothers. They said: "the" Brothers. Like "the" three sisters, in Macbeth?
Dave: What sisters?
Bruce: The weird sisters? When shall we three meet again? ... Davey, do you EVER listen to any of my songs?
Dave:
Nicko: Where are we, anyway? Somehow this place reminds me of a movie set ...
Janick: Maybe they mean actors? Do you know any actors that are brothers?
Dave: The Baldwins.
Bruce: No offense, but I think the Baldwins are not that historically important.
Steve: If I find out that I'm wasting my time here hunting down some American starlets, then …
Dave: Some of their movies are really good.
Janick: Yeah, but I honestly don't think we are in Hollywood.
Dave: The Usual Supects was great. Stephen Baldwin as Michael McManus.
Adrian: But Nicko is right. Judging from the houses, it could well be a setting for a western movie.
Steve: Damn, you're right. So, you think we ARE in Hollywood?
Bruce: No!
Janick: Why not?
Bruce: It's too cold.
Adrian: Right. Which reminds me that I want to go home …
Steve: The bank over there looks like out of a western as well.
Dave: There's a boy, maybe we can ask him where we are.
Bruce: Ok … Pill!
Steve: Wait, Bruce ...
Bruce: What is it now again?
Steve: The sign over that building says "Bank". That sounds pretty English to me. So before popping a pill, we might check out whether they speak English.
Bruce: I'm sure you can find signs saying "Bank" anywhere in the world. They even have a Bank of America in Geneva. I remember when I lost my Mastercard back on the Seventh Son tour ...
Steve: Bruce ...
Bruce: Whaaaat? You don't wanna hear about me losing my credit card on the Seventh Son tour?
Steve: Honestly? No.
Bruce: Ok, then let's just forget about the bank thing and I'll pop that pill ...
Steve: Bruce! If this is America, and I really strongly suspect it is, then we don't need the pills.
Bruce: Right, but … if this is America, and I also strongly suspect it is, I still want to eat that pill. I always wanted to speak with an American accent. So, hop and in and gulp. … How do I talk?
Janick: Oh my God, you really talk like a Midwest farmer.
Steve: Yeah, I hope for you that this accent has worn off in a month when we go on tour.
Bruce: Hehe. It has always worn off or we would still be talking in Old Egyptian from our first mission.
Steve: Anyway, I refuse to take a pill if all it does is make me speak in a strange English accent.
Bruce: Right. You don't need a pill for that, hehe.
Steve: What do you mean?
Bruce: Ardly anyfin.
Steve: Hm.
Dave: So, who's gonna ask the boy? Looks like he's waiting for somebody.
Janick: Maybe we should be careful?
Nicko: Why, do you think that boy could mean us harm?
Janick: You never know …
Adrian: Ok, let's go ask him, so that we can leave again. I'm freezing …
Bruce: It will sound a bit stupid asking about brothers and wire, won't it?
Steve: You know, we've sounded stupider. Can't really get worse. These missions have STUPID written all over them. Guess that's what you need to make prime time TV.
Janick: Somehow I agree.
Bruce: Ok, we'll ask him. But I do the talking, and you are my friends from overseas.
Steve: Bruce! Don't monkey around.
Bruce: Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
Adrian: I have déjà-vu.
Nicko: Me too.
Bruce: Hey, boy. Hi! What's your name?
Tom: I'm Tom. Who are you?
Bruce: Hey, Tom, howya doing? I'm Bruce and these are my buddies from overseas. Do you have a brother?
Steve: You don't honestly think this BOY is the mission?
Bruce: Ya never know.
Tom: Actually I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters.
Dave: Three brothers. Maybe he's the young Baldwin.
Janick: As far as I know, none of the Baldwins is called Tom.
Dave: Uhm. Right.
Nicko: What are you waiting here for, Tom? It's mighty cold.
Tom: Yeah, but I was waiting …
Reverend: You were waiting for the Devil's brothers, weren't you? I told you to stay at home, Tom, and not meddle with these forbidden projects.
Steve: And who is this freak now?
Nicko: He mentioned Devil's brothers. This could be the brothers we're looking for.
Adrian: I'm having a bad feeling again.
Bruce: And who be you, Sir?
Reverend: I am Reverend Miles Castleton, the shepherd of this parish. And right now I am trying to save this poor sinner's soul.
Steve: Yet another religious zealot. I'm really getting fed up with them.
Dave: Better keep your temper in check, Harry.
Steve: I'm not saying anything, am I?
Janick: Forgive me, Reverend, but what has this boy done that makes him a sinner?
Reverend: He has dealings with the Devil's brothers.
Nicko: Who are they?
Tom: They're not devils! Will and Orry are my friends!
Reverend: They are trying to cross the borders that are meant by divine decree to confine the lusts and strivings of the proudest among us earthly creatures!
Adrian: Huh?
Reverend: Humans are not birds!
Steve: Agreed, humans are not birds. So what? Are those guys thinking they are birds? That doesn't make them devils. It makes them crazy.
Reverend: I am doubting your faith, my son.
Steve: Not again. I already had trouble with your lot some weeks ago.
Reverend: That doesn't surprise me.
Bruce: Eh-hem … anyway … can we come back to this devil's topic? They wouldn't be experimenting with wires by any chance?
Janick: Can you tell us where we could find these brothers?
Tom: They are waiting for me and the other men at K…
Reverend: Shut up, boy! They're waiting in vain. I had a talk with the others, and was able to convince them of the futility of it all. Go home, Tom. Nobody will come. The flock is meekly following their shepherd.
Adrian: Am I the only one who doesn't have a clue what's being played here?
Dave: No, mate, I feel just the same.
Tom: Ok, I will go home then. Thanks, Reverend, for telling me. I will do some reading in my prayer book.
Reverend: This is wise, my son. God will guide you on the right way. Good bye to you to, sirs.
...
Steve: There he goes, the black crow.
Janick: Are we in the Twilight Zone? What game is this?
Dave: We'll soon find out, I think. The boy is coming back.
Tom: Is he gone?
Bruce: The black crow? Mmmm, yeah. I think so.
Tom: Are you gonna help us with the experiment? Please?
Bruce: Sure. What experiment?
Tom: We need more people to pull it out. But all the others are too afraid of the reverend.
Steve: So, could you tell us what's the deal?
Tom: I'll tell you on the way. Follow me. It's not far to Kill Devil Hill.
Bruce: Did you just say Kill Devil Hill?
Tom: Yes, that's where Will and Orry are waiting for me.
Nicko: It seems like you know where we are, finally.
Bruce: Actually I do. Wilbur and Orville Wright made the first flight in history from Kill Devil Hill. If you'd illegally downloaded my new album like all the others on the BB, you would know that by now.
Nicko: Fuck my old boots!
Bruce: Because of the illegal downloads? I don't mind, really. I know the CD is so good, they'll all want to buy it as soon as it comes out.
Nicko: I didn't mean the downloads ... this first flight thing ... I thought that was Icarus and his dad?
Bruce: Yes, but we're talking about a real PLANE here. Not just wax wings ...
Dave: So we have to get a piece of wire from the Wright brothers' plane?
Bruce: They used wires to warp the wings. The pilot lies on his stomach in the middle of the plane and shifts his body weight from side to side. That in turn moves the wires ....
Steve: Bruce.
Bruce: Yes?
Steve: Cut it.
Bruce: I ...
Steve: No.
Bruce: Spoil-sport.
Steve: You can tell us the details later, when we're back home.
Bruce: Yeah, yeah, don't call me, I call you, right?
Steve: I wasn't asking you for a date.
Bruce: Bah.
Adrian: Ehm, coming back to the task at hand ... What kind of help you think we could give them?
Steve: No idea. I just hope they don't ask us to play guinea-pigs for them. No way I'll go up in the air in such a prehistoric aircraft. I'm already shitting meself in a helicopter ...
Dave: As everyone who has seen Rock in Rio, knows.
Steve: Hm.
Bruce: I would volunteer as guinea-pig, hehe.
Steve: Sometimes I really wonder where I dug you out, Bruce.
Bruce: Funny, Steve, reaaaally funny.
Steve: If it's so funny, why don't you laugh?
Bruce: Hehehehe. Aaah, I'm getting sidecramps from laughing.
Steve: ...
Bruce: Oops, angry Arry stare again.
Tom: There they are! Will and Orry ... Hey, guys, I brought some reinforcements.
Wilbur: Hello, Tom. I'm glad to see you didn't let us down. The wind is excellent for a first try. 20 knots exactly.
Bruce: 20 knots! It's really true. Amazing ... I am so honoured to meet you, Mister Wright. Truly honoured.
Wilbur: Thanks, but who are you?
Tom: This is Bruce. He and his English friends are interested in your project. And willing to help.
Steve: But we are not gonna fly, that much is for sure.
Orville: Oh, don't worry. Apart from me and Will nobody will be flying. It's much too dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Actually we are even unsure who of us will go up first in the air.
Steve: Sensible. So you are also afraid?
Orville: No, I'm not afraid. But each of us wants to be the first in the air. Prestige, you see?
Steve: They're just as nuts as Bruce. Must be a pilot's disease.
Janick: How can we be of help then?
Wilbur: You could help us push the plane onto the right spot.
Nicko: Ok, let's do that. Camera's running, this is great footage.
Adrian: So what's the deal with that Devil talk in the village?
Wilbur: Oh, the reverend is making a riot down there. He thinks we attempt to reach God by flying like only angels can do. The man is nuts, I wouldn't worry too much about him.
Bruce: Oh, we don't, really. Is he against technology then? What a bigot! Aren't we men brothers of angels? They're our heroes, inspiring us to strive further, make our dreams come true. So what if we sometimes crash? Discoveries can only be made when you dare to take up the challenge.
Wilbur: Spoken like a true pioneer.
Steve: Spoken like the madman you are. Ok, where's that plane?
Orville: It's still in the hangar, we were just waiting for you guys to help us push it out here.
Adrian: Great! This sounds like work.
Bruce: Well, let's get started then.
…
Janick: Are we there soon? This machine is heavy.
Bruce: Just keep pushing, hehe. Remember when we had to push that bus in Switzerland when it broke down? Number one, number one! Hehe.
Janick: No, I don't remember that.
Steve: You weren't in the band yet. That was on the Beast tour, Bruce.
Bruce: Right, I forgot. Feels like only yesterday, though. Number one, number one. Hehehe. Pushing pushing pushing.
Steve:
Orville: Ok, here we are. The wind is excellent. It will be a piece of cake. Will, d'you have the coin?
Dave: Coin?
Orville: Will and me both want to go first, so we will flip a coin to make the decision. We need an impartial hand. Who's gonna volunteer?
Dave: I can do it.
Wilbur: Heads.
Orville: Fine with me. Tails then.
Dave: And the winner is … Tails!
Orville: Yes! Wish me luck, brother.
Wilbur: Good luck. This flight will bring you immortality.
Bruce: It will bring you both immortality. What a moment in history. Orville Wright making the first plane flight in the history of Mankind.
Steve: I already get wet hands when I just think about it.
Adrian: Did everything work out well? Or did he crash?
Bruce: Nah, everything went just fine. You'll see. I wish I could join him in that plane now …
Steve: Insanity, thy name is Bruce.
Bruce: You cannot understand that, Harry.
Steve: That's right. I could never understand unhealthy obsessions.
Bruce: Tut tut tut. Just relax, Arry. I'm gonna have a talk with Will about the engine. See ya later, dudes.
...
Nicko: Amazing, the plane has really lifted up into the air.
Janick: To think that what we take for granted nowadays has been an adventure in these times.
Steve: To be honest, it's still an adventure for me, each time I board a plane.
Adrian: This guy is willing to take the chance that he might crash with his plane. That's what I call dedication to science. Amazing.
Steve: Can we talk about something else?
Dave: He's coming down again, that wasn't a long flight.
Janick: I suppose for a first try it's long enough.
Bruce: So, how was the feeling, Orry?
Orville: Amazing. I felt so free. I could have gone on and on. Now it's your turn, Will. Enjoy!
Bruce: Guys, I asked Will for a few inches of wire from their backup spool. Mission accomplished!
Steve: Great news. Let's go home then.
Bruce: Ehm …
Steve: What? You worry me, when you say "ehm".
Bruce: Well, to be honest, right now is not such a good moment to leave.
Adrian: Why not? This moment is as good as any.
Dave: Maybe they still need help.
Bruce: Actually, while I was having that talk with Wilbur, I think he found out that I was a bit enthusiastic about the whole flying thing.
Steve: Now how on earth would he find THAT out?
Bruce: Maybe I was a bit excited.
Adrian: A bit? Haha, that was the understatement of the year.
Bruce: Yeah, well, everybody is happy to have their work appreciated. And to receive positive feedback.
Janick: And you were happy to provide that, weren't you?
Bruce: Of course.
Steve: So, why can't we leave now? You haven't provided a satisfying answer to my question yet.
Bruce: Ehm … well. As I said, Will was happy that I was so enthusiastic about it. And he was kind enough to … ehm … well …
Steve: Yes? What?
Bruce: Hewillallowmetohaveagointheplaneafterhehaslanded.
Steve: What! You want to fly in that ... that .... prehistoric ... wired ... THING?
Bruce: Wouldn't that be so cool? I would be the third man in history to fly an airplane.
Adrian: Do you think you know how to fly it? Must be different from modern airplanes.
Bruce: Sure, we talked about the gears and stuff. How I have to move it and how to get it up in the air. And I've read about it in several books already. I feel pretty confident I can do it.
Nicko: Wilbur is landing the plane again. We better make our minds up now.
Steve: I'm for leaving. Who is with me?
Dave: Well, if he really wants to try it …
Janick: Yeah, when will he ever get such an opportunity again?
Bruce: Steve? Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeee! Just a few minutes …
Steve: Minutes? Both the Wright brothers were up in the air for only seconds. So don't you start on a Transatlantic flight now!
Bruce: Does that mean, I can try?
Steve: Ts. Well, it's not as if I could forbid it, is it? So go ahead and make your damn flight. But try to come down in one piece. I'd appreciate it if Maiden still had a singer for the tour next month. And if you must crash, try not to crash on us at least.
Bruce: I will, promised. Oh, guys I'm so excited. Wish me luck.
Nicko: I'm gonna film it, you better make a cool performance.
Bruce: Ok, I'll try some loopings.
Steve: Bruce!
Bruce: Just kidding. See ya.
…
Adrian: I guess after this experience, Bruce will love the BBC manager.
Steve: Ts. Probably. He's crazy.
Dave: There he goes. Up in the air. Wow.
Nicko: I have zoomed in on him. He's grinning and giving me the thumbs up.
Steve: Does that mean he doesn't keep his two hands on the stearing wheel?
Nicko: Don't worry. He probably has everything under control. As I said, he's grinning.
Steve: Madmen are constantly grinning. Doesn't convince me about his sanity.
Janick: He's already losing height. Soon he will be back on the ground.
Dave: Let's applaud the pilot. Well, done, Bruce.
Wilbur: Yes, I agree. So today, three men have tried the Flyer and everything worked out fine. Thank you so much for your support, guys.
Bruce: It was a pleasure for us. Especially for me. Wilbur, Orville, thanks. I will never forget the day I met you. But we have to leave now, I'm afraid.
Orville: We will mention you in our flight record. What is your full name?
Steve: Bruce. No.
Bruce: Ehm. Well … hehe. No, it was a pleasure to be able to fly. I don't really want to snatch the honour from you. Wright Brothers' First Flight is a far better headline than Wright Brothers and Bruce Dickinson's First Flight. Just take the credit. I don't need the attention. Nope, I'm more the shy type, anyway. No limelight for me.
Steve:
Wilbur: Ok, if you wish, you shall stay anonymous. Thank you nevertheless. And good bye, my friends.
Bruce: Yeah, good bye.
…
Adrian: Finally. Back in the TM. A place where it's warm and cozy.
Bruce: I was wondering if I could stay here for a couple of hours and you come pick me up again later.
Steve: You don't really expect an answer to that, do you?
Bruce: I kinda knew you would say that. Well, a pilot can dream.
Nicko: It's not a dream, Bruce. I have it on tape and you can watch it again and again if you wish. Is that a consolation?
Bruce: Yeah, a small one. But to think I was really up there. Wow!
Janick: Guys, I just realized we didn't have to fight for our lives on this mission.
Dave: Yes, I noticed that too. This mission was pretty harmless.
Steve: Harmless? That depends on the point of view. Singer endangering his life four weeks before the start of the tour is hardly harmless IMO. But you're right, compared to other adventures, this was pretty harmless. Let's go home now, shall we?
Bruce: Good bye, Kill Devil Hill. Good bye, Kitty Hawk.
Dave: Who is Kitty Hawk?
Bruce: That was the name of the plane. Kitty Hawk. Flyer One.
Dave: Oh. And for one second I thought you meant a hot bird.
Adrian: Oh, Dave, you'll never change!
Dave:
Nicko: Ok, home sweet home now. Push the buttons!