Part
8: The Bard
Bruce:
They promised this time it wouldn't be dangerous.
Adrian: Well, after almost being eaten by procompsognatises
or whatever, I can't imagine what could be worse.
Steve: We should have told Rod to sue them.
Bruce: Be glad they didn't sue US, after you kicked
that manager in the balls.
Steve: Sorry, but when he stood there grinning and
complaining about us not filming the part where H was struggling with
the dinosaurs, I simply lost my temper.
Nicko: I agree, that was below the belt.
Bruce: Well, 'Arry's kick was also below the belt.
Steve: On whose side are you?
Bruce: I'm just saying ... anyway, where are we here?
Looks like merry old England again, doesn't it?
Dave: It feels like I've been here before ...
Bruce: Means you have déjà-vu? Sorry,
stupid pun, I know.
Janick: Well, this place also looks familiar to me.
Nicko: There's a pub, let's find out where we are.
Adrian: Ok, good idea. At least there are no dinosaurs
here. I prefer to deal with people.
Steve: Hmm, the guys on the next table are talking
English, but with a strange accent.
Bruce: Hehe, you think your accent is normal?
Steve: What do you mean?
Nicko: Let me do this: hey, me and me mates are strangers
here. Could you tell us the name of the place?
Drunken customer: Whassup? *hic* Thisis Strafor,
coursh. *hic*
Nicko: Straffercorsh? I don't know this place. Are
you sure we're in England?
Janick: Let's get back out on the streets. Maybe
we find somebody who isn't drunk.
Dave: Hey, I know where we are! I recognize that
house over there.
Adrian: You recognize a house? I remember, after
the World Slavery Tour, I didn't even recognize my parents' house
...
Dave: But I do.
For once I know something that you don't know.
Steve: So, where are we?
Dave: I have visited this house. Somebody famous
lived in there.
Steve: Yeah, who?
Dave: Guess.
Adrian: A musician?
Dave: No.
Bruce: A politician?
Dave: No.
Janick: Is it a man or a woman?
Dave: A man.
Nicko: A famous athlete?
Dave: No.
Steve: DAVE, this is not a game. Tell us.
Dave:
Ok, but it was fun while it lasted. This is Stratford, and that's
Shakespeare's house.
Bruce: Great! I always wanted to meet William. Let's
have a knock at the door.
Janick: Maybe we should be careful.
Bruce: Aw, Jan, come on. This is Shakespeare, not
Jack the Ripper. He's an artist, just like us. What's the task this
time?
Adrian: "Bring back a handwritten page."
Now it makes sense.
Nicko: Who's gonna film this time? If nobody wants
to volunteer, I can do it.
Steve: Yeah, well, you can go filming, I guess it
won't be dangerous this time. Meet you at the TM in an hour, ok?
Bruce: Maybe we shouldn't all go to Willy, that would
be a bit too much.
Adrian: Right, I'm going with Nicko.
Dave: Yeah, me too. Anyway, I already saw the house.
Bruce: Great, so let's knock. Knock-knock.
Shakespeare: Good afternoon. Who are ye?
Bruce: We are just some fans.
Shakespeare: Fans? I do not understand. It's not
so hot that one would need a fan.
Janick: He means, we love your stageplays.
Bruce: Yeah, that's what I meant. Can we talk a bit?
Shakespeare: Enter. Actually I have just started
writing a new play. So if you are interested to talk about it ...
Bruce: Great, yeah, that's cool.
Steve: What is the play about?
Shakespeare: The plot is largely about two young
lovers whose families are in a feud. I haven't yet tied up all the
loose ends, though.
Bruce: Hehe, should we give him some
hints?
Janick: I'm not sure, better not
change the course of history, I guess.
Steve: Is that your writing desk?
Shakespeare: Yes, that's where my creativity takes
form on paper.
Bruce: Woah, finally somebody who has more chaos
than me.
Shakespeare: Sigh, yes, so much paper gets wasted,
because I cannot make up my mind how to write some lines.
Steve: What are you doing with that paper? Are you
throwing it away?
Shakespeare: Mainly yes, why?
Bruce: Would you mind if we keep one? As a souvenir,
so to speak.
Shakespeare: Souvenir?
Janick: He means a keepsake.
Shakespeare: Yes, go on, you can take one. Take this
one, it's the scene where the lovers meet at the balcony. I didn't
like it too much.
Bruce: Let me read this: "Olivia appears above
at a window". Eh, who's Olivia?
Shakespeare: That's the main female character. She
will fall in love with a young man called Romeo.
Janick: You called her Olivia?
Shakespeare: Yes, I'm not quite happy with the name
yet, but I couldn't think of a better one.
Steve: Why don't you call her Juliet ?
Shakespeare: Juliet? You think so?
Steve: Yeah, why not?
Shakespeare: I must admit, it has a nice ring to
it. Romeo and Juliet. I will think about it.
Bruce: Okay, it was nice talking to you, Will, ehm,
I mean, Mister Shakespeare. Unfortunately we have to go now. Thanks
for the piece of paper though.
Shakespeare: Well, I have to thank you for the visit.
I'm happy to know at least somebody likes my plays.
Steve: Yeah, goodbye then. And ... think about Juliet.
Shakespeare: I will, thanks.
...
Bruce: Whoooaaa, I don't believe it. Romeo and Olivia.
Thank God we just showed up in time to prevent that.
Steve: It feels strange. I somehow feel as if I was
responsible for it now.
Janick: Well, somehow you are, I guess ... Hey, there
are the others.
Adrian: So, no guards following you this time? We
don't have to run for our lives? Everything ok?
Bruce: Yeah, we had a great time. Steve was helping
Willy with his play of Romeo and Olivia, hehe.
Adrian: Wasn't she called Julia?
Bruce: No, in fact she was called Juliet.
Adrian: Hmm, that's almost the same. ... Why Olivia?
Bruce: That's a long story. I'll tell you on the
way back.
Nicko: 'kin great. And you have the paper, I see.
Steve: Yeah, we're all settled. We can leave.
Dave: It was easy this time.
I'm happy.
Steve: Yeah, that kick in the balls probably helped.
Bruce: I must admit, it was a bit too uneventful
for my taste. I was looking forward to a sword-duel with Willy over
the piece of paper.
Nicko: I guess we will have more adventure next time.
Don't worry.
Adrian: Well, that's exactly why I DO worry about.
Janick: Let's push the red buttons then, and find
out.