In ancient times when Zeus was king
On Mount Olympus high
The only thing that life would bring
For Man was sweat and sigh

They knew not how to laugh, to sing
They had no merry feasts
No melody did skywards ring
They were as dumb as beasts

The gods in heaven grinned with glee
As slaves they used Mankind
On incense thrived Aphrodity
Athena raped their mind

Just one of all the heavenfolks
Took pity on our race
Brucetheus, cousin of these blokes,
Yelled: "Rod, what a disgrace!"

A duellist by nature, he
Set out to change the game
Alleviate the misery
That was his goal and aim

Inventive man, he fashioned first
A hoe and then a spade
The peasants' dire lot he cursed
So beer he also made

The tools made tilling easier
Heineken's brew was cheered
But backs still hurt just like before
Poor drunkards, how they leered!

Exasperated Brucey sighed:
"Oh no, no, no, you got it wrong!
A sense in life they need", he cried
"I'll teach these guys a song"

He raised his voice up to the sky
Oh mighty Zeus, beware!
His shattering scream so clear and high
Like sirens rent the air

The humans listened to this tone
Their heads in awe were raised
No bitter face, no frown, no moan
The vocal god they praised

"Nah, nah, ye blokes, forget the praise
Your fate's now in YOUR hand
Take guitar, drumkit and this bass
And form a metal band!"

Great songs replaced the former rage
Dark clouds made room for sun
From stone-, through bronze- to Metal Age
Mankind discovered fun

Brucetheus turned to Zeus and smiled:
"Hey, boss, see what I did!
Come on, admit that you're beguiled."
But Zeus just threw a fit:

"How dare you help'em!" thundered he
"WE are the gods, not THEY
Slave to the grind mankind should be
Now watch this cheerful play!

I'll burn their records, send a flood
My lightning bolt shall strike.
Mankind shall drown in gore and blood
With bass, and drum and mike."

"Misguided wrath, take me, not them!"
Bruce begged, with knees on ground
"Ok, my boy, that's fair", and wham!
In Caucasus he was bound

But "Hooks in you" ain't good enough
To shut this big mouth up
Brucetheus lad is strong and tough
And causes a stirup:

To all four corners of the world
Across the land and sea
The Air-raid siren's call is hurled:
"Stand up, Earth ! Scream for me!"

(written on March 8th 2004)