6: You Too, My Son
Ok, next mission ahead. We’re in a big city again.
Dave: It’s hot.
Nicko: This is easy: we’re in Rome.
Dave: How do you know?
Bruce: There’s the colisseum. And seeing that
it is still intact, I guess we've gone pretty far back this time.
Adrian: Not as far as with Tut though.
Bruce: Ehm, no, you’re right, but I sincerely
hope we will never have to go farther back. I’m not so keen
Steve: Don’t say it too loud, BBC might get
Nicko: Great, I’m looking forward to filming
some gladiator games … Harry, why did you just snatch my camera?
Steve: Since when is it YOUR camera? I’m making
sure you won’t run off again and leave us alone surviving the
Nicko: Filming is part of the mission.
Steve: Dave will be filming this time.
Dave: Uhm, why me?
Steve: From now on, we gonna take turns. It’s
your turn now, that’s why.
Dave: Oh. Okay, I’ll do it.
Adrian: So, the mission at hand: “Find an important
knife”. Anyone got a clue?
Bruce: Hehe, this one might be interesting. I only
know one important knife in the history of Rome.
Dave: You know a knife?
Bruce: Just a way of speaking. Yes, I know a knife.
The knife that killed Caesar of course. We’re on the ides of
Steve: Bloody great! So we have to find the senate,
I suppose that’s where the bloke got himself killed.
Dave: I have a problem.
Steve: What is it?
Dave: I’m not sure what I should film here.
Steve: Dave! Just look around you. We’re in
fucking Rome. Film anything.
Nicko: As I said, a gladiator game would be fun.
Dave: Ok, I’ll do that.
Nicko: I’m coming with you. See you guys!
Steve: I don’t believe this. He did it again.
Bruce: Yeah, and with your ingenious idea, we now
lost Dave and Nicko to filming.
Steve: Yeah, well, anyway, let’s get that fucking
Janick: I took some latin in school, do you think
I need to take a pill nevertheless?
Adrian: Honestly? Yes.
Bruce: Ok, there’s a senatorish looking man
over there. Let me ask him where the Senate is to be held. …
Hey, eh, senator, can I have a word with you, please?
Senator: What do you want, commoner?
Adrian: Friendly people, those Romans.
Bruce: Today is the ides of March, right? We are
from a far-off province and we wanted to know where the Senate is
to be held. You look as if you could help us.
Senator: I’m on my way to the Senate. So don’t
waste my time any longer. Today it an important day.
Bruce: I bet, you friggin' knife-poking
geezer. Eh, thanks anyway. ... Ok, let’s follow him.
Adrian: I don’t think they’ll let us
in that easily.
Steve: Of course they won’t. Otherwise it would
have been an easy mission, right? Fuck.
Janick: Pity though, I would have liked to see how
Caesar was actually killed.
Adrian: You are pretty bloodthirsty. Do you realize
you’re talking about murder here?
Janick: Fuck, yeah. I’m sorry. You’re
Bruce: I have a plan!
Steve: I dread your plans.
Bruce: It’s a good plan. And it doesn’t
involve your hair, so don’t worry, hehe.
Steve: Good then. What is your plan?
Bruce: Well, first of all we wait until Caesar bites
the dust. I wouldn’t want to be in there when it happens anyway.
Steve: Ok, and then …
Bruce: After the stabbing, the Senators will surely
scatter, and that’s the moment for us to act. We get in, take
the knife, get out again. Easy as pie.
Adrian: Doesn’t sound easy. So we get in when
everybody else is running out? Do you think we could get close enough
to take the knife out of Caesar’s body? I don’t.
Bruce: Ok, do you have a better plan?
Adrian: Ehm … no.
Janick: Well, we could try it. We don’t have
to go in all four of us though. One would be enough maybe.
Steve: Yeah, that would be less conspicuous, too.
Bruce: What? Why do you look at me now?
Steve: It was your plan, so you go.
Bruce: Actually, I think Adrian here looks much more
like a Roman.
Adrian: Uh?? Oh no, mate, I’m not going in
there. You know much better than me how to behave like a Roman. So
you are less likely to be found out.
Steve: He’s right. You go.
Bruce: Well, maybe Jan …
Steve: No, fuck, you go. Don’t worry, we come
and get you out if there is trouble.
Bruce: Is that a promise?
Steve: Of course. I told you, I won’t leave
anybody behind. This includes even you.
Bruce: Wow, Arry, I’m touched. Really I am.
Steve: Well, don’t mention it.
Janick: Commotion ahead, they’re coming out.
It’s now or never, Bruce.
Bruce: Ok, guys, it was nice knowing you, in case
Steve: Just go!
Some time later…
Ah, here you are, we have nice filming material.
Nicko: Yeah, the gladiators are breath-taking.
Dave: Where is Bruce?
Janick: He’s in there, searching for the knife.
Dave: You let him go in alone?
Steve: Fuck, yeah, I let him go in alone. I thought
it was easy. And now he isn’t coming back. Damn.
Adrian: Maybe we should go have a look? I can go
if you want.
Steve: Well, we better all go this time.
Nicko: Yeah, in case we have to fight, we are stronger
in the group.
Janick: There’s Bruce!
Steve: Ah, great. We just wanted to come and get
you. Do you have the knife?
Bruce: Eh ... the knife? No, I didn't get all the
way in yet. Some of those mosaics are great. Dolphins and all kinds
of strange sea-creatures. And those colours! Quite different from
what they look nowadays in the museums. So, I ... got held up a bit.
Steve: WHAT!? You were checking out the mosaics like
a fucking tourist while I was scared that you would be in trouble?
Are you out of your mind?
Adrian: Ok, I’m going.
Steve: Where are you going now?
Adrian: I’m going to get that fucking knife
so that we can finish this mission. Anyone with me?
Nicko: I’m coming with you, H.
Adrian: Ok, thanks.
Steve: Bruce, don’t think I will worry for
you ever again, did you hear me?
Bruce: Look, I think we shouldn’t be focused
that much on the mission, but also enjoy the time here. After all,
who can say that he saw the coliseum intact back in our own times?
Who can say he spoke with Tut? Isn’t that amazing?
Dave: Not to mention the amazing Viking mead-wine.
Steve: Dave! This is not helpful.
Janick: They’re coming back, and I think Nicko
has the knife.
Steve: Great, let’s get out of here.
Nicko: See, it’s all bloody.
Dave: Did you really take it out of his back?
Adrian: No, actually it was lying on the floor. But
it was creepy anyway. There’s nobody in there anymore, except
for Jules. And he is dead.
Roman Guard: There’s the killer, he has the
Steve: Oh, fuck. Run!
Janick: Shit, why do all our missions end with running
Bruce: Ok, we’re in, push the buttons …
wait! Where is Davey?
Adrian: He was directly behind me just a minute ago.
Steve: Shit, there he is, he fell. Dave! Get up and
Dave: I can’t. I think my leg is broken.
Bruce: Oooh, shit.
Steve: Come on, H. We have to get him.
Janick: You better hurry up, they’re closing
Bruce: I’m ready to push the buttons, tell
me as soon as they’re in.
Nicko: They have reached Davey … now they lift
him up … the guards are nearing … they’re on their
way back … almost …
Janick: Bruce, get ready …
Bruce: Can’t be readier.
Nicko: They’re in. Push the buttons!