in the Rue Morgue ...
So, there's no doubt that she knows about our plan?
Raphael: No. She made it pretty obvious that she
has been listening in on my sleeptalk for a while.
Uriel: Oh, fuck. That's bad news.
Raphael: Well, she promised to keep it a secret.
But I can’t be sure about that, can I?
Uriel: I guess not.
Michael: Hi, Uriel. And … wo-hoooo! Who be
that angel next to you?
Raphael: Huh? It’s me.
Uriel: That’s Raph. What do you mean?
Michael: Haha, yeah, I know it’s Raph. It’s
just so unbelievable to see him on time for once, so I thought it
might be somebody else.
Raphael: Haha, funny.
Sariel: Michael and I have some good news for you
guys. I guess, Luce will be eager to hear about it too.
Uriel: Oh, that’s good. At least there’s
gonna be SOME good news.
Sariel: Why, are there bad news as well?
Uriel: Hmm, kinda …
Gabriel: Eyy, olà tres amigos! Hey, Mike.
Wow, Raphy, you’re here already? What happened?
Raphael: Am I the running gag here? Is it really
so unusual that I’m on time?
Gabriel: Not unusual … impossible is the
word I would have used … nevermind, good to see you. So Luce
will have no food for verbal explosions tonight.
Raphael: Don’t be too sure about that …
Gabriel: Why, what’s the matter? …
Oh fuck, don’t tell me she knows …
Uriel: Looks like it.
Sariel: What are you talking about?
Michael: Did we miss part of the movie?
Gabriel: So we’re fucked, that’s it?
Sariel: Can someone explain?
Lucifer: Hi, guys. Am I the last? Hey, even Raph
has arrived. What happened? Have you been camping here last night
after the Mariner?
Raphael: You know, that joke is fast getting old.
Lucifer: Is it? Well, you can’t really hold
it against us, Raph. Anyway, let's start, shall we? ... So, Mike
and Sariel have asked for a special meeting today. Apparently they
have some good news to relate. Tell us about it, you two.
Michael: Hmm, well, maybe Raph should talk first
Raphael: No … you start. My story can wait.
Lucifer: You also have something to tell us?
Raphael: Uhhhh …
Uriel: Come on, I think they should know. We gonna
find a solution together.
Lucifer: Know what? Bad news? Come on, talk.
Raphael: Well … first of all, it’s
not my fault!
Lucifer: Huh? What’s not your fault? I’m
starting to worry here.
Uriel: No, don’t. Raph has already talked
Lucifer: To whom?
Raphael: Apparently she won’t talk …
Lucifer: Can you start at the beginning, please?
Gabriel: Let me handle this, will you? Ok, Luce,
here’s the problem in a nutshell: our Raphy here has a cloudmate,
as we all know. A little demon by the name of Lilith. She’s
paying three quarters of the rent, that’s why she thinks she
can molest him with all her petty headaches and sore throats and
Lucifer: What are you talking about? Why bring
Gabriel: Well, patience. I'm getting to it. As
we all know, pretty Lilly is in love with Raph …
Raphael: She’s not …
Gabriel: Well, apart from Raphy here, we all know
she is. And like all lovers she wants to be close to him …
Lucifer: I don’t want to hear a romantic
love-story here, Gabe. Where are you heading with this?
Gabriel: I’m getting there: as she wants
to be close to him, this morning, she was sneaking onto his side
of the cloud …
Michael: Ah, details, please. This is getting interesting
Lucifer: No details. Gabe, make your point, please.
Uriel: No, Mike, it’s nothing of the kind.
Gabriel: Ok, I come to the point. You want the
bitter truth, without forewarning? Well, here it is: Lilith has
been listening to Raph talking in his sleep about our revolution
Lucifer: RAPH! Is this true? Are you out of your
mind? How dare you talk in your sleep?
Raphael: I told you it’s not my fault! It's
not something I can control.
Uriel: He is right, apparently that’s the
Lucifer: I don’t care about his subconscious.
All I care about is that Lilith knows and she’s probably already
on her way to Rod to tell him everything.
Uriel: No, she promised Raph not to do that.
Gabriel: You know, it might be helpful that Lil’s
in love with Raphy. That way she won’t talk. She knows she
would endanger him as well.
Lucifer: No, there’s only one way we can
be sure she won’t talk.
Gabriel: And which one would that be?
Lucifer: Raph, you have to erase her memory.
Gabriel: Yeah, that’s what I also proposed
this afternoon. But our Raphy had second thoughts about that.
Lucifer: Raph, you better fly back NOW and do it
Raphael: No, I won’t, Luce.
Lucifer: What did you say?
Raphael: I said: No, I won’t, Luce. I will
not erase her memory.
Lucifer: Raph, be sensible. That’s the easiest
solution. You can do it, I know.
Raphael: It might be the easiest solution for us,
but not for her.
Lucifer: Don’t tell me you care about the
Raphael: Be careful what you say! Lil might have
her faults, but deep down she’s not a bad person. I might
not be in love with her, but I won’t submit her to a treatment
as dangerous as memory erasion. You have to find another solution,
I won’t do that.
Lucifer: Raph. You’re the only one who can
Raphael: Well, good. That way no one’s gonna
do it. I sure won’t.
Sariel: Ehm, Raph ... Luce does have a point here.
I can understand that it might interfere with your ethics, but you
cannot be sure she won’t talk. You know, she has business
scheduled with some of my mates tonight …
Lucifer: See! She’s gonna tell them. Raph,
you’re endangering our cause here.
Gabriel: Actually I don’t think Sariel’s
mates will want to talk about work with her.
Michael: Probably not. I know I don't when I have
a date with Lil.
Lucifer: Hm. But we can’t be sure. So what
should we do? Abduct her and retain her until the rebellion has
succeeded? That would mean a lot of extra work. Unless Raph agrees
to put her to sleep for the next few weeks.
Raphael: You’re not serious! I cannot hypnotize
her for weeks on end. She has to eat and drink. What am I going
to tell her?
Gabriel: Anyway, that’s not gonna work. She
will be missed by quite a few chaps, especially her regular customers.
Ey, Mike? They're gonna look for her and they might find out. How
would we explain that?
Lucifer: Fuck, I didn’t think about that.
You know, Raph, if you refuse to cooperate, we have to find another
solution. One that might endanger her even more …
Uriel: Don’t you think that’s going
a bit too far, Luce?
Raphael: If you try to hurt her in any way, Luce
Lucifer: Well, then, for fuck's sake, how about
YOU come up with an idea for once? You know, I'm sick and tired
of having to deal with everything. On the one hand you expect ME
to organise everything, to take all the hard decisions, but you're
not supportive at all. A revolution in Heaven is serious business.
But I'm getting the feeling here that it's more important that some
stupid little cunt is all comfy-cozy in her stupid penthouse-cloud
Gabriel: Hooold it, Luce. You're getting carried
away here. Come on, calm down.
Lucifer: Touch me, and I rip off your wings.
Gabriel: Hey, watch it, hothead.
Lucifer: You watch it, bigmouth.
Uriel: Guys, why don't we ALL calm down. This isn't
getting us anywhere.
Michael: I think I have an idea ...
Uriel: You do?
Gabriel: See, Mike has an idea.
Lucifer: Hm. Let's hear it then, Mike.